Yesterday morning I awoke from a dream. There was not much to guess about the dream or to figure out. In the dream I was working around the home and all I heard over and over was “work like an evangelist.” The music played over and over in my head. It was like “walk Like An Egyptian” by the Bangles. Even after I woke up the music was pulsing. Like I said, there wasn’t much to think about.
My heart is in the world out there. Since the day I gave my life to Him, I just saw it as “pass it on.” I thought my life would be different in many respects. I thought I would minister in churches and help others. But after 15 years or so of this, it appears God has a different plan. If something is not happening I am feeling like I missed it. On Saturday the Lord allowed me to speak into a couple’s life with words that only He could have known. Evangelist-share the GOOD NEWS. So, I am running into a point of thought process I have not considered. The idea of being under a tent or out in a field appeals much more to me than being in a building where people have already heard the good news.
My walk is not so much among the saved as the sinning. I love the church. I love the people. But, honestly I am bored more than not. I just don’t fit. A square peg in a round hall. I have tried to walk the “middle” road. But my unsaved friends do not often fit in the confines of church. They are coarse and not sanctified. And frankly I get embarrassed. Not over the friends in the world, but the attitudes that come towards many of them. The other day, while a few of my friends were here, a collection of friends from being on Main Street came by at different times. An old man wanting to talk, a contractor who I helped through a bout of cancer and a near divorce, a man and his father in law who I worked with as he got sober. Constant “revelation” does not help them. Friendship and a constant pointing towards the cross. That’s all I have.
It makes things interesting and difficult at the same time. There are things in my life that I am clearly gifted at and others I just fall by the way side with.
I have been recently invited to work with some ex-porn stars and prostitutes on a few projects. These people minister in the clubs, in the bars and on the streets. Another motorcycle group(not Christian) has asked me to minister on Sunday morning for them, because there is a feeling that they need God. Another biker group(Blues & Brews) in LA has asked me to come to their biker’s gathering. (A few of the “girls” have asked if they can come to minister to the biker “chicks” at these meetings.)
I am not sure what that looks like. Last year it was the ministry of “God loves the witches” up in Maine with friends. It is a tearing inside of me. I want to fit in many respects in the church, but that doesn’t look like me. And being “out there” is hard too. The dream was difficult. Even now I hear the words. It is an inner conflict for me. Only yesterday I told Tina how much easier it would be if we had a “church” that we were not over seeing. That someone else would prepare the word, make the coffee, etc. A stepping out from place.
As Springfield Vermont moves towards it’s 15 minutes of fame, with the premier of the Simpson’s new movie, it is clear that some things are happening. Many friends have called or written to describe a prophetic time here in Springfield. What that is to look like no one knows. It is apparent that thousands of people will be here. I have a business meeting that afternoon, but perhaps we can get in some PsALM Reading during the day. (Open invite to brothers and sisters who want to come to the “tax collector’s” party!)