I don’t know about you but as a child I was pretty wild. Folks that knew me from my childhood most likely are amazed that I actually made it through that time in my life. Certainly it was the God from above who kept me from utter destruction. As a child, I grew up in a small rural neighborhood. With lots of neighbors. Let me tell you that even when my parents weren’t home my neighbors were watching! People looked out for one another.

And instruction? I learned how to dig ditches, build stonewalls, build and paint. I learned about power tools and mechanics. I learned to ski and skate, play football, baseball and basketball. (To say nothing of Jarts and horseshoes.) Animals, gardening and farming. I learned about neighbors and family. Our social media was visiting one another. Bringing gifts and foods. Visiting the infirmed and elderly. There was a responsibility that came with being neighbors. Learning to take care of things. And while many of the things I mentioned came from parental instruction it was always undergirded by a variety of neighbors and friends.

There was so much to learn and do. The goal was that you became grownup in your actions towards family, friends and community.

When I was young, I had very few friends who were not on the pathway of growth and maturity. People did not allow people to shirk their duties or do nothing. So my siblings and I grew up with a strong work ethic. We knew what was right and was wrong. (I did not say we were always obedient, but we always knew what the direction ought to be!)

There was an accountability there. With expectation came responsibility. I remember when I was in the majors and helping coach a minor baseball team there was a family who “came from the wrong side of the tracks”. Now they lived in a really nice part of town, so when I say that they lived on the wrong side of the tracks it was “thought process”. One day the son who was my age was playing in a game. I was there. My friend was umpiring. He was a great guy. But despite being the plate umpire people were being incited by the family I just described. (Now I should tell you I went to school with a couple of the family. I personally got along great with the kids. Despite their thinking and upbringing.)

Following the game the boys family went after the umpire with a baseball bat. They screamed and yelled and badgered the umpire. Fortunately, there was a group of men who moved in to protect the young ump. My dad was Little League president and his response was to ban the family and the members who threatened the young man. He also made it clear that the next incident would keep ALL parents from the games for the rest of the season.

There was a built in accountability. Accountability is an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions. Now before you think I am advocating heavy handed “accountability” I am not. I have watched the moves of “discipleship” and the pain it caused when done with a lack of love and extreme control. And yet in God’s amazing wisdom, His Son Jesus tells us to “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” Matthew 28:19.

So, what does that look like? I think Jesus had a reason for people helping people. In our culture today the environment provides many land mines and diversions. Economic downturns, wars and more have turned out world upside down. In the midst of it there is more than enough situations when coupled with the work of the enemy.

Many years ago I had a friend in ministry. We spent a lot of time together. He helped me in some areas. But he had a “blind” spot. That blind spot cost him his marriage, destroyed another and touched three others as well. Deception is and always will be, not that which you can see, but that which you can’t. People need people!

Is accountability important? I think so when people adhere to what God is saying in His word and in His love. Many years ago I was involved in the Promisekeeper movement. It helped me in a lot of areas. One of the results was accountability and what that meant. And some of it made sense. Uncover things that might be hindrances to spiritual growth and forward movement. The downside was when some of the men took it upon themselves to approach it in a “military” fashion and love was lost.

But here is what I concluded. If someone did not want to be accountable, all the questions in the world were not going to reveal it. The best inquisitors were not going to get it out of them. How do I know? My friend never uttered a peep that he was going to be running off. (Fortunately, I had asked him straight up and the Lord revealed to me truth. I wrote him a letter and gave him and his board a copy. Two weeks later, he was gone. Because the Lord had told me, many things that might have been askew, actually had order.)

But if people are in agreement that they want to grow, then there is strong benefits that will head off danger and prevent diversions. (1 Sam. 9-15) And part of that agreement is a loving environment without judgment. There is therefore now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1) And neither ought there be in relationships. The purpose of any accountability, is to give an accounting. To be willing to submit to one another in love and grace.

Mentoring or discipleship always involves accountability. But it is accountability that edifies, builds and focuses on Him.

Written by Lee Johndrow

Lee is the Senior Leader of Abundant Grace Fellowship Church in Keene, NH

He is the father of five wonderful children. Married for over 26 years to his wife Tina. Loving life with family, friends, faith, fun and food!