I often find myself coming up against myself. What does that mean? It is those times where I cannot seem to gain headway. The difficulty is I am often sure it is the Lord holding me back. Recently I have felt that way. I have watched all my supports evaporate. The last few weeks has had me wondering. Even when I remove the feelings of the intensity, I see that there is something underlying that I have not plumbed. I do not suggest that the Lord ruined home or finance, but for whatever the reason His intervention was not there. (I do not blame Him, nor am I even frustrated as to “why.”) And so I was “up against the wall” in my thinking.

And then a conversation. A normal conversation. And a flash.

We often hear we are but a mind shift from a reality. A moment from a change.  So, yesterday while in the conversation I heard the thing that I knew intuitively, had intellectually ascended to, but somehow it clicked. I knew the moment I heard it I would be rolling it over and over and over in the coming days. (Last night I had two dreams about it.)

Let me shift gears for a moment, before I get back to that thought. I am a fixer. I do not like things undone. I struggle with “incomplete.” Because I am like that I can walk into a room or a business and know in seconds what is going on, what needs to be repaired or fixed, who needs to go or who needs to move.

From my book-
When interruption occurs, the process often moves from point A to Z without many letters in between.

The loss of a known process can create turmoil, frustration and anxiety.

Years ago while taking a psychology class I was one of the two subjects used for an experiment. Each of us was sent outside the room with the instruction to wait until called in. While the two of us were outside the instructor explained to the class the procedure that they would witness.

The first subject was called back in and went through the procedure. A few moments later I was called into the room. I was seated at a table. They put the pieces to a small puzzle in front of me asking me to assemble it. As I moved through the puzzle, she pushed the puzzle and its pieces away, saying “NEXT!” She put 5 or 6 rubber bands in front of me and asked me to connect them. I began the process of connecting the rubber bands and moments later she picked abruptly picked them up yelling “NEXT!” She put half a dozen pencils scattered in various directions and asked me to put the points on one end and the erasers on the other.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw the remaining tests. As I aligned the pencils she pushed them away yelling “NEXT!” I jumped up from the table tipping it over and walking out of the room cursing the “process.” I later returned to hear the outcome of the test.

I am more comfortable with constant change than rote tasks. I have learned to be stable in me and who God is, not process or procedure. (And yes, I occasionally have rough days.) I see how things are to be but often am unsure of the steps. And so recently I find myself wanting to jump in to fix some things. I have been cautioned not to.

I said the other day that just because we are gifted does not mean we step in. For instance, in our church, there are some things I (And others.) would like to see happen. They are not huge things but they often on my radar screen.  But I cannot do them. So, I relax in His rest with the knowledge that He will accomplish those things, putting people in place and open the future.

Back to mind shift. When I get hold of something, whether it be what I call metanoia, the changing of one’s mind or I call it mind shift, when it happens, I am hooked. I cannot let go. Over the last few years I have gone through a number of mind shifts. Some involved theology, some involved relational thinking, some involved process and understanding. But the changes, they took.

So, here I am with a new thought process. A new challenge. Thankful for people in my life who challenge me. Walk with me. Encourage me.

When we move from dark to light the process of how and what we do changes.

Have you been seeking better? Looking for revelation? I look at things different already. My process shifted. It truly was a paradigm shift. “We have a lot of learned behavior of compliance, and hunger for external rewards and no real engagement.” Dan Pink talking about education and how we have the opportunity to change the way we process. He recognized the need for change.

Why is it important? Because when we see,

• The shift over things takes time
• Truth needs to raise its voice

We can evaluate our process.

But the mind shift is instant. And you cannot move backwards. Mind shifts leave you with no fall back.

So here we are on a new journey.