Merry Christmas! (Well today is actually Christmas Adam, tomorrow being Christmas Eve.

Today I am trying to clear the final decks so that I can begin cooking in
order to be ready for friends and family. I took Jordan out to get his
haircut followed by his first Starbucks hot chocolate. He thought it was
awesome.

Life before God was all urgency and not much enjoyment. Today I just kind of kicked back.
In the immortal words of Andy Rooney…”One of the most glorious messes in
the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t
clean it up too quickly. ”

I thin that is really it. Relax and enjoy.

A little levity and then a serious side…bear with me. A few years ago my
brother and I thought we needed to establish rules for “re-gifting.” I am
not a re-gifter unless it is really cool and has absolutely no value to
me. For instance how many money clips can I use?

It’s going to happen and you know it – and it’s just around the corner.
You will receive something that you don’t need, don’t want, don’t like or
doesn’t fit. It will happen. Like creamed corn at a food pantry, you’ll
want to get rid of some gift this year.

I remember my sister getting an angora sweater from my dad for Christmas
some years ago. It was so fluffy I think it “meowed.” Her eyes shifted
around the room looking for a place to land other than the anxious
gift-givers. At the car in the driveway she held it up and said, “What the
hell am I supposed to do with this?” It wasn’t exactly the type of gift
you give a hippie living in a tee-pee.

This is why gift cards are so popular – well until you get one marked $50
with $7.86 remaining on it. That’ll kill your self-esteem in a heartbeat.
Actually if you are related to, or friends with, someone that would do
that – it’s likely that you already have self-esteem issues. Maybe
counseling, I don’t know.

Re-gifting has an upside. There are only a few dozen iridized purple glass
vases with molded raisins on them. They continue to circulate for years
because they are easy to clean, no one has ever received one with a hang
tag so it can’t be returned, you haven’t been able to buy them since 1976,
and nobody wants them. If you think about it in terms of green, it’s the
way to go. If there were more of them we might be able to avoid Cap &
Trade!

Re-gifting is certainly a way to save money – but I am suggesting a few
rules. After all, you don’t want to get caught!

-1 When you receive an ugly or useless gift, pretend to like it. It’s good
PR for unloading it later on. Because someone will agree with you that
it’s beautiful if you are in a room full of family and friends. They now
become a prime candidate for the re-gifted item. “Well, you were so
excited when I got mine!”

-2 If you can’t be happy about it, be sure to pencil the givers initials
on it, so that you don’t mistakenly and embarrassingly re-gift it to them
next Christmas.

-3 Always put re-gifted items in a new box – mildewed tissue paper is a
dead give way. The new box and shiny bow lessens the impact of the
“ugliness quotient” on the recipient. They’ll think it looks familiar for
a few moments, but will chalk it up to too much eggnog the year before.
New boxes are key!

-4 Re-gifting is not for used stuff or tag sales, Yankee Swaps are.

-5 To prepare your family for re-gifting – dulling the senses – removing
the anticipation of getting a really thoughtful gift, you need to find
something that can be given each year that is so ugly, it will become a
family heirloom and tradition. It is a great way to bring new spouses and
grandchildren into your clan. I suggest a vase with molded raisins or
something similar. Each year it goes to someone new in the family. It is
best distributed with the fanciest of boxes, ornate wrapping paper and
lots of ribbon. Like selling furniture, you mark it up to mark it down.

-6 Don’t bother re-gifting junk from the dollar store. Have you noticed,
it all smells the same? Even if it looks like it’s worth more than a
dollar, don’t do it. Just don’t go there. And that goes for stuff on the
clearance table at the supermarket, just leave it alone. One more quick
tip. The stuff you can get a second one free on TV by calling now – don’t
bother. There is a reason the “As Seen On TV” stores all went out of
business.

-7 Gifts from children under 12 MUST never be re-gifted. In fact they
should be worn or displayed immediately. You get to throw them away while
they are off at college.

-8 If the gift really stinks, and re-gifting is just not possible, I
suppose, as a last resort you can return it. It is possible that everyone
you know has a Clapper or Clapper Deluxe with a remote – or the gift; like
gold jewelry, is worth much more in cash than as a gift, then it’s OK to
return it. But please do it quietly. I have a big mouth friend that can’t
wait to ask for the sales receipt before we’ve finished eating. Then get
yourself something nice for Christmas. After all, it IS all about you.

-9 Never re-gift cash. :o)

-10 And finally, there is hopefully one thing that although you can’t
re-gift it, you can package in such a way that someone else might even ask
you for it. That’s Jesus.

Here is another fun list…

Top Ten Funniest Christmas Gifts for 2012 (The 2013 ought to be ought once they figure out what was bought in the midst of double digit decline.):

1. Microwavable Slippers
2. Fridge Patrol- Motion Activated
3. Talking Toilet Paper Roller – Motion Activated
4. Inflatable Tropical Window Scene
5. Pee Pro – Male Urination Target Game
6. Canned Unicorn Meat
7. Awkward Family Photos Book
8. Ninja Remote Control Jammer
9. Gangnam Style T-Shirt
10. Honey Badger R-Rated Talking Stuffed Animal

Whew! Number 10 begins my seriousness.

Christmas is nearly here. I will be with family and friends. I hope you
will as well. But I recognize that there is a gap between having Christmas
and enjoying it. Christmas often shows us the greatness of the need we are
facing. I am concerned about next steps and how we maneuver. I said a long
time ago, I place little stock in Washington and what “it” can do for me
or you. I love Christmas and if I had a million dollars I could not give
it away fast enough this year.

I teach a lot to folks about getting up out of the mud and going on and
accomplishing something. One of the things I share is you have to be
willing to accept your circumstances to know what you have to do to bring
reparation and change to things. No “la de da” here. It is what it is.

Let me share a little “why” that has added fuel to the fire. I recently
heard of families’ double dipping from area organizations for toys and it
irritated me. Here are good organizations that are being taken advantage
of by a few out of control families. Many of the organizations of our
region deserve recognition and not being ripped off. I want to do
something about that.

2014 has to be different for me and hopefully for you.

Merry Christmas!

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good
time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the
long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open
their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they
really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of
creatures bound on other journeys. ~Charles Dickens