I know I am jumping the gun in my order but this one is hot on my heart.

The last few days I have been in contact with some long time friends. I love them and I know my heart is broken for them. I think as you get older, you ought not feel like life is so out of control when things happen. Sometimes you truly need to look to Him. Being with Him is a relationship, the development of a lifestyle. And developing it after you have lost all your energy, your friends and your family is hard.

Friends are important. Family even more so. This morning I had posted about family and someone said “is that all you ever think about? Family?” Pretty much because that is what He is thinking about. I know what it is to be without friends, family and human contact.

My friend’s hearts were being broken over the “loss” of their children. I have been there. There was a place in time where my kids “avoided” the church fellowship. Too many “rules”, lack of concern about relationships and condemnation, they would have said. Were my kids perfect? NO! But because they were the “pastor’s kids” the bar went up! And the pressure was too much.

After my son’s terrible accident, my wife pulled away from the church family. She faded into the corner. No one raced after her. The next years were not good for my wife. Things outside of church were “okay” but the truth is, life became harder. One day my wife told me the “church was my mistress”. Wake up call! (Add that to the fact that because of my son’s accident there must be a “curse”on my life…)

I ultimately came to the conclusion that no one was missing “us” on a lot of levels. I worked hard to change lots of things. Ultimately, after much soul searching, I ended up making major changes.

So I struggled when I heard this…

A few weeks ago a friend told me that if he and his wife “fell off the planet” no one would miss them despite being part of a large church community. It is not a big or little thing. It is a community thing. How do I know?

(I completed the thought this morning about it.)

I woke up this morning with the strangest feeling. In one minute, I felt irrelevant, bypassed and not “worth” anything to anyone. It was an attack. And it did it’s best to get hold of me over the next couple of minutes. I was not “entertaining” anything.

I share this because the body is important. But it is equally important that we stand up to the wiles of the devil.

If the enemy can convince you he can have you. Fight back. Do not roll over, do not wallow.

If need be start talking! “I am relevant! I do have a purpose!”

Time to stop waiting and time to start being.

So, I wrote that and went to be with my church family. This afternoon there was a phone call from a friend. He was thankful for what I wrote. He had felt “irrelevant”. He had told his wife he was not going to “go to church”. He awoke this morning and there was my post. The message, it changed his day. He said he began to weep. He got up, went and got dressed and went to be part of the fellowship. And the message shared by his pastor changed his life. Had he not gone he would have missed it! Had he not gone he might still be wallowing. Still missing out. And still feeling left behind, irrelevant.

He and I have been friends for over nearly 20 years. Just hearing his voice on a voice mail makes me smile.

Family….

I have given a lot of thought to the process that undermines family. It is important to me that the cycle of pain and loneliness be broken. I have spoken often on restoration. I have been sharing the importance of family for a long time. And now I add in the idea of the “seedbed of the community and grace” at this point. Too many try to live outside the community and the reality of it is, unhappiness is one of the byproducts.

The seedbed of grace and community is exactly that. It is a place where you grow. Where you bloom and blossom. Where you get healthy. Where you reproduce. Where you see your family… It is a place where grace moves and flows. We have to be willing to look at life and its results. What is real? What is not? Here are some of the signs life is not where you want it.

• You don’t want to attend your local fellowship.
• Your kids aren’t interested in going to the local fellowship.
• You have been there a year and have no friends.
• You are afraid, feeling condemnation.
• You go to meetings and can not wait until you get another chance.
• You spend lots of time without your family.
• Your heart is troubled.
• Your kids do not speak to you.

I am encouraging you to seriously look at those. It does not mean you are bad or a sinner. But it might be an indicator that you need to have a conversation with the Lord about next steps.

I have been through it. I get it. I know what it is like to live in a state of “expectancy”, to pursue revival. (My thinking has changed about a lot of that.) And I know what it is to find God right where He always was. On the inside! Living in revival.

I am thankful for community. For friends and for family. And I am willing to say that whatever works against family and friends probably is not from God. A spirit that causes kids to disappear. Spouse to be hurt and be in pain. And friends who shy away…Well, I am concerned.

One day you wake up and you realize it was not “worth it”.

Today my wife and I enjoy great friends, a great fellowship and my family is restored. Grace is amazing. Grace in a community? Well, words can not explain it.

My prayer for you today is that you would feel acceptance and not condemnation. That you would incur restoration and not destruction. And that as I told someone yesterday you would relax and have some fun!

Over the years I have watched my church family arrive earlier and leave later. It is a sign of the grace of God working through the community of faith.

People, who only a year ago would not “darken the door of a church” are coming in, bringing friends and enjoying life. They are seeing the value of being “loved back to health”.

Stop looking for the perfect church. Start being the loving church. And watch what honor and grace and love can do. As my friend Mark said yesterday, it is not for what you need now, but what you want for your grandchildren tomorrow.

The spirit of community and grace…coming to a town near you!