I am a dad. I want the best for my children and my grandchildren and all the generations to come. And as I come up to Fathers Day next week, it is my heart to write on 5 things that I think are important to dads. As I listen to my grandchildren pray for their “dad” to return to their life, I cry inside. I hurt for them. So, if as a dad, I can stop one child from going through that, then I feel it is all worth it.

How many times have I confronted a screaming parent in a store, totally destroying their child with words and actions? And how many times have I given “high fives” to the parent who does not let “Tommy” get away with his tantrums? Want to “lose” your child? Yell, scream and carry on. Especially in front of others. If you would not treat an adult with that kind of disdain, or embarrass someone, please do not do it to your child. (And if you do, perhaps you need to consider a parenting class or return to taking your meds regularly!) I am not talking about the once in a while exasperated blow up, but the consistent badgering and berating of a child.

I have five children and even more grandchildren. I know being a parent is not always easy. But even when you are feeling frustrated or angry, the discipline you offer up should be founded in love, an expression of concern for the long term growth and welfare of your child or children. Loving discipline includes not only correction, but advice, counsel and yes, chastisement. Sometimes there is the need to bring “strong” correction to a child. (How you deliver that is between you and the Lord. I find that the power of grace and the placing of responsibility in a child’s court empowers them to walk rightly.)

As I mentioned in a previous article my own upbringing was rather one sided. I could count on correction but did not find much in the area of commendation or affirmation. In Proverbs 25:11 it tells us, “As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.”

Affirmation if the building up or edifying of someone. When you speak words of affirmation over a child it is like growing a flower. They bloom! It enriches a child’s character. They blossom when they are acknowledged, when they are appreciated. Appreciation and edification build a child’s confidence. Motivates them to do what is right and work towards it.

“You fathers, do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted.”—Colossians 3:21.

It is imperative that a dad, a father, encourage and build up a child. They are like a sponge waiting for the water of goodness to be poured out upon them.

So interesting is that when we look at New Testament prophecy, we are told to edify, encourage and to exhort. When you and I as fathers follow the same policy given to the prophecy of the New Testament, we speak to generations coming forth. We will see the world framed by our words, creating men and women of integrity, character and grace.

So, tonight take your son or your daughter, and speak life and light over their lives. Let not anger or wrath remove their destiny. Today one of the greatest things you can do as father, as a parent is change their future to one of goodness.