There are many people that are angry at others and they have made decisions according to their anger. 

Each day social media is filled with rants and raves.  The airwaves overwhelmed with statements of who is right and who is not. 

This week, the Pope, talking on Lent, said in partially improvised remarks, “is a time to give up useless words, gossip, rumours, tittle-tattle and speak to God on a first name basis,” he said. 

“We live in an atmosphere polluted by too much verbal violence, too many offensive and harmful words, which are amplified by the internet,” he said. “Today, people insult each other as if they were saying ‘Good Day.'” 

One of the things that each one of us must deal with on a regular basis is what I share often which is, “how do we lift up the oppressed without destroying the oppressor?  

We are not called to be social justice warriors. If our anger at someone causes us to destroy the oppressor, it is because we have not understood the heart of the Father. If we choose sides in relationship disputes whether it be a friend’s marriage, friends or even workplace, we put ourselves at risk for being judgmental. We know that the Bible says that “by the measure, we judge so shall we be judged”.  What about the reaping of what we sow? (Even the world believes in karma.) 

How does this exemplify, “love others”? Matthew 22:39 tell us to “love our neighbors as we love ourselves”. 

Where does that leave us? All too many are trying to say that keeping toxic people out of our lives is okay, but as you walk with Jesus you find out that He did not do that. He walked with them. He may have brought correction to their lives, but He did not close the door on them. 

“Who is my neighbor” Jesus is asked. He tells the story of the “good Samaritan”, considered “lower class”, who stepped up to the plate, when a man was injured, even though a priest and a Levite walked on by. He showed mercy. He got “involved”.  

There are a healthy method and manner to this process, and it’s called boundaries. Boundaries bring freedom. Without boundaries, neither side knows where they’re at and that is where the problems begin. Boundaries are not a wall to keep people out, but in fact more like a fence that’s either movable or has you with the ability to open the gate. (Walls not only keep people out; they keep you in.) Jesus did not shy away from toxic people. I do not think we ought to either.  

In reading a book about the pains of the church regarding sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse, and toxicity, I think many have missed the reality of biblical correction and help.  The Bible has in place the method and manner to work with and deal with people on both sides of the equation. Unfortunately, all too often that has not been the way that it is been done. This connotes a bigger conversation then I’m going to put out here in this writing. There certainly is much out there to help people with these things. On both sides of the issue. 

If we consider people with varying degrees of mental illness or toxicity, how do we handle that? If we choose sides in the middle of relational disputes, do we really believe that’s the walk of the Lord Jesus? What do we do when abuse has or is occurring? 

We are called to love those don’t look like us, think like us or love like us. Maybe they don’t pray, speak like us, or heaven forbid, vote like us. Is there an exception to the rule? What about their mental health challenges? Or their immigration status? Maybe it is their sexual orientation or their economic status. Have we hit the exception yet? Gender, disability, religion or race? I think Jesus would say, “show mercy”. 

Part of what Jesus did was bring equality to all.  

A few days ago, I had a dream, and, in that dream, there was a young man whose father yelled at him all the time. He embarrassed him, beat him down and in that dream, I found myself working to speak with the father. He would not listen to me, and just kept up with the toxicity and angry behavior. Later in the dream, I found myself spending time with the young man who was beaten down and disappointed. He and I talked about boundaries, honor and his own value. We talked about joy. I shared how we wanted to see him restored, and yet, not allow his father’s behavior to cause him to lash out or do something he might regret. He began to move in the discovery of those things. Dad did not change right away, but the boy did. One day we were out in the yard in a greenhouse of sorts, and the father came out with tears in his eyes, crying out with anguish and despair. He apologized. 

One of the fruits of the Spirit is longsuffering. It is called that for a reason. That is not to suggest that abuse is okay. Just that bailing out is not often the option

We have made up many rules about things, but if we practice the principles of the Kingdom, things change. Sometimes things are not a “quick fix”. Nor is it the time to run and hide. The goal ought not to be the restoration of a ministry or even relationships, so much as they ought to be the restoration of one’s soul. 

The church is messy, even when it is “all things are done in an orderly fashion”. God is not afraid of the messes. (He was born in a manger.) 

If we “take a break” from something “toxic” and do not work on ourselves we have missed much of the point.  If we constantly avoid what is painful we will not change. Shy away from those we disagree with and our growth will be slow. 

This morning, I wrote this… 

How is that rant working? Do you find it really makes you feel better? Do you see it changing the world other than perhaps a few likes? 

What usually works, is loving one another, participating in your community or neighborhood, writing letters or voting, and believe it or not … praying. 🙂 

In the lingo of “professional facebookers“, end of rant. 

Love is and always be the answer. To the questions, many dare not to ask. 

The blessed John the Evangelist lived in Ephesus until extreme old age. His disciples could barely carry him to church and he could not muster the voice to speak many words. During individual gatherings, he usually said nothing but, “Little children, love one another.” The disciples and brothers in attendance, annoyed because they always heard the same words, finally said, “Teacher, why do you always say this?” He replied with a line worthy of John: “Because it is the Lord’s commandment and if it alone is kept, it is sufficient.” 

This is from Jerome’s Commentary on Galatians, 6:10. Andrew Cain, the translator of this edition of Jerome’s commentary, suggests that “the source for this story was possibly Hegesippus’s Memoirs via either Clement of Alexandria or Origen.” However, none of the works of Hegesippus survive, so this is speculation. 

Is it not time to bear the burdens of another?  

Lift up the oppressed without destroying the oppressor.