The Process Of Rebuilding

fireworksToday is Valentine’s Day. Over the years my wife and I have had a number of great times together on Valentine’s Day. It is not so much a day “to do something” as it is a reminder on a level of our love for one another. I tend not to be a “day” or event person unless we are talking about birthdays or holidays that involve the family.

But, I should be real when I say we have had to work hard to get where we have got to in our marriage. Aside from the power and love of God in our life, I don’t think we would have made it. There have been a number of times in earlier days where I am pretty sure we did not think we could make it.One of those times was in the first few years of our marriage. A number of disastrous things happened to us. And then one day I was taking one of my workers to his parole officer. As we drove through the intersection a taxicab driver stepped on the wrong pedal, ran the light and hit me at over 50 miles an hour. My life changed. I was in braces and could not work. I became miserable. The loss of income coupled with all the other scenarios of my life was too much. Tina and I separated.

I moved to a cabin and began a very long fast. Each day I sat there, read my Bible and “tried” to find the answers. The cabin experience was more than a month.

Ultimately God healed me, our marriage and a lot of other things. But mostly He touched our hearts and made us whole, individually and together.

To rebuild or not to rebuild.

A lot of people are faced with challenges that it appears only God can fix, heal or make “right”. Sometimes there is the “wow” of God. I do not diminish that. Yesterday a longtime friend of mine sent me the following.

“People got out of wheelchairs, neck braces removed, people finding gold nuggets, money in bank accounts” he wrote. For a long time I have spoken about the finding of money, shared stories of gems and gold found, metal removed from people’s bodies and more. I believe in the amazing.

A few years ago our home was ruined by shoddy contracting. I became ill as black mold was found as the result. My wife and I went to rebuild. We drained every account over the next four years. We did everything possible. One day my wife just looked at me and said, “We are done with this place. You have done everything you can.” We walked away from our dream house on the mountain that over four years had become a nightmare.

This week one of the websites I own went down. An upgrade changed it and it crashed. Only the help of a friend was able to restore even the basics. Today is rebuild day. Frankly I was pretty low about it. I am not looking forward to the repairs of something I spent weeks building. (But with no job on the horizon, keeping busy and building something for potential income keeps that part of my life intact.)

I could use a wow of God right about now.  Most of us, if we are honest, could.

Not everything is “rebuildable” or in need of rebuilding. Sometimes you need to let things go. Why? Because God has a better story for you. I am not speaking about marriage or family but I am talking about the “relationships” and accumulations that hold one back.

Valentines is another day. It can be a good day or a bad day. At the heart of it will be your understanding of Him in your life. The value you place on another. And the desire to move ahead.

This week I was at a low point. My wife sat at the table and held my hand. She said, “Please look in my eyes. I believe in you. I know you have done everything that you can.” Who needs a special event when you can hear that?

A lot of people set themselves up for failure over a day, a date or an event. I do not denigrate the amazing, miracle power of God in a situation or circumstance. Yet, I also know in between the kairos moments are a lot of chronos moments.

As my wife and I celebrate yet another Valentine’s Day we do it with the knowledge of the love of the Father and our love for one another, no matter what the circumstance. As my brother David found out life is not a sprint but a marathon.

If I never had another “wow” of God I am secure in knowing Him and His love for me. But because of that love for me, I am sure He will WOW me again.

Written by Lee Johndrow

Lee Johndrow

Lee is the Senior Leader of Abundant Grace Fellowship Church in Keene, NH

He is the father of five wonderful children. Married for over 26 years to his wife Tina. Loving life with family, friends, faith, fun and food!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.