This week I sat with a woman who had to keep her relationship with her former daughter-in-law a secret from her son just so she could talk to her granddaughter. Her son was an out of control dad. He chose to leave a mom and a daughter to pursue life. Spelled “lack of responsibility.”
While I was getting ready to be with the church this morning I was reminded of how valuable family is. I was also reminded of a prophetic word that I gave that a 10-year period was going to be a difficult one. (We currently are in year 5.) Many people ask me what I think about our nation, our economy, our political system and our future. I believe our future is bright. At the same time I also believe this election cycle will not be the answer, that in fact 2020 will be the one we are looking to. Putting all that aside as we look at the news and we see all the things that are happening we can become fearful, discouraged and depressed. And yet that is not what Christ would have us to do. We can whine about the government, decry public education, and complain about the lack of a moral compass in our country. And yet at the heart of it, is it not all about family? I look to my own family and I realize the last few years we have become closer than ever before. Unfortunately that is not how I grew up. In fact, I had to work to do I had to do to make it happen.
I would say this to all young parents this is your season to teach your family about family. It is not about moving to divorce or separation or about not spending time with your family. But in fact embracing the very gift of God that He has given you. Our lack of a moral compass so to speak in this country is more about the lack of fathers than it is about anything else. You can almost invariably go back to the very beginning of the child’s existence and see it all rests upon the actions or the lack of actions of a father.
Each time I read of tragedy or destruction, I wonder, “where is the dad?” (Part of my “diaries of child” series.)
Our nation needs real fathers and mothers to stand up and be who they were called to be. I can pretty much guarantee that most of the money we spend as a nation in our country helping people has to do with the original “lack of fathers”. That in the community much of our benevolence goes out to where there is a need because “dad” is not there. Real fathers will help children to have healthy relationships and strong marriages. They will bring strength and value.
I know all the reasons for being absent or not involved in your son or daughter’s life. I have “been there-done that” on ALL counts.
So when I received this, I wondered what to do with this. And then in our fellowship my friend Mark, shared about family and the need for fathers and mothers. So, here it is. Church-it is time for the moms and dads to arise. First in your own child’s life and then in others. Health family makes healthy people.
For me it received additional confirmation with two headlines I read. The first was this.
“350-pound offensive lineman throws touchdown pass for Arkansas” I saw that and I thought there is a shift in the church. Not just in our understanding of ministry but in fathering. No longer are we looking for the sleek, great looking “quarterback” but we are coming to see the gifts in the house. There is a “big, big shift”. Appearance(The look and style.) will become over rated and appearance (The act of being there.) will be come the new thought process.
One of the biggest complaints I have ever received from single women is “where are the men?” Not the guy who never gets his hands dirty, but the “men”. And when I saw this headline I thought, hmmmm. “DIY stores are hammered by lack of do-it-yourself drive.” Somewhere we have dumbed down the need to work or work a job that requires an education or manual labor. (I have to tell you I love Mike Rowe.http://mikerowe.com/)
It is time for family to not be made fun of. For dads to be dads and moms to be moms. What does that look like? Time will tell.