I think it is funny that so many are willing to say “I can’t do it your way” but when provoked as to what their way is, have no place to point to, no foundation to move from.

Over the years I have watched many who want to tell me what they are “unable” to do while setting stagnant. Unmoved. Let me help you with a few things. First “my way” was never my way. I was not looking for God and I was convinced He was not looking for me. Second His way still isn’t “my way.” I am consistently finding He loves me so much that He will not leave me here and delights in moving me more His way.

Your way…So in the words of Dr. Phil, “how is that working for you?” When I ask how their way is working they shrug their shoulders. Blame others. Make excuses. Let me be clear. I am not asking you to do it my way. I am curious why you would subject yourself and others to the pain and suffering from an unwillingness to change. Why you would hold on to childish ways to hurt others?

I mentioned yesterday that the Lord has me stuck on two topics, immaturity and hospitality. Both encourage folks to not think about themselves but others. Recent questions to folks have caused a firestorm of reaction on a small scale. It was for selfishness that Eve and Adam ate of the forbidden fruit. God knows we have people every day making choices for themselves that result in abortions, deaths, expensive repairs and more. I am not sure “why” God has me stuck here, but He does. The result of being “stuck” somewhere is that I look for answers, ways to get out, expedient release.

Selfishness always affects someone. My way can and does affect others. James addresses sensual desires as a reason for arguments and wars. Years ago a spiritual dad in my life said this to me. “Whatever spirit they are operating in, move in the opposite.” (I remember thinking it was kind of like spiritual Jiu Jitsu!) If they are greedy, throw money was one of his biggies. Even scripture covers things like “a soft answer turns away wrath.” Part of what that comes to mean is that you cannot “bless them with a brick” (A friend’s loving line.) or be so “grace filled” that you condemn them. (Many people who embrace grace become the grace police. Grace always honors.)

The big problem I see with selfishness is it denies faith. It denies the loving kindness of the Lord. It denies the bigness of God. It connotates a lack of trust. As one of my friend’s often says “our fears are the areas where you do not believe God loves you.” The way out of selfishness is to first recognize it and focus on Him. When you see the bigness of God, the magnanimity of who He is, it begins to get easier.

It is not moving from selfishness to selflessness but actually seeing your sinful, selfish nature in the light of how good He is and how good He has made you. It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.