Grace Happens. Let Go And Let God. First Things First. Live And Let Live.
My Mom had found Al Anon and those bumper stickers began to appear everywhere in our home. Most notably the refrigerator. And frankly I did not understand them so much as I was thinking I should. Especially that one that said “Let go and let God”. What does that mean? I heard a lot of people tell me what they thought it meant. And that one upset me. In part because my relationship with God was non-existent. (Being told God can’t help you by a well meaning minister when it came to drugs, caused me to walk away from anything “God related”. So my mom’s new found “love’ was getting to me.)
It seemed like a lot of people were celebrating “Be Happy” at another’s expense.
Here I was stuck with what I considered pithy sayings and feeling like I was the subject of the 60’s notable saying that people used when they moved on. “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” Albert Schweitzer
I was not good at relationships. I had no model. No blueprint. And here I was trying to live life through relationships. I lost a lot. Hurt a lot. And hurt a lot.
So here I am closing in on 60 years and it seems like relationships are on every one’s blog, Facebook or Twitter feed. People want to be with people.
But what happens when you know the relationship is not working? (I am not talking to you about marriage. In a certain sense that has a different set of thought, including on what you believe it is.)
Yesterday I awoke with the knowledge that a relationship I have had had moved to the one sided place. And that I had to do something. Not something of control or manipulation. But of God. Not to create or cause pain, but to allow grace to be implemented. (If you know me and “try” to figure it out, you would be very wrong. And no, it is not my wife! Shucks. It could be TV or chocolate…)
I made the decision to let go. To firmly place my trust in the hands of God on it. To devote my time to prayer for them.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
So, here I sit with the last line staring me in the face. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. It is not about keeping things one sided, but about trust and hope.
Yesterday, I went through the pain, the knowledge of knowing it “might not change” but certainly in the midst of it I could change.
Time will tell. But the one thing I know is that to try and get somewhere, accomplish something and let urgency creep in, removes peace and denies Godly influence. For this I know. What I do, He won’t and what I don’t He will. I have been empowered by grace.
Love is not definable in so many areas so why would I try to codify it? Why would I not receive it and pass it on?
I am on a new leg of my journey. I think there is a mountaintop I see. Changes I must make. The planting in Him produces the fruit of Him. Against such things there can be no law.