Yesterday I wrote about plumbing the depth of my heart for love. To exaggerate his goodness. A few hours later I was sitting in a hospital.
It had started with not feeling well the night before, but after being at work a few hours, I realized I was not “connecting the dots”. Unable to think things through. So, I mentioned this to my boss. I called the hospital and was sent to the nurse’s station. I was not there but a moment or two and they escorted me to the Emergency Room. What I thought was going to be routine turned into an all day experience with me being admitted.
Sill no answers conclusively, but they have plumbed the depths of my heart and my mind! ECGs, EEGs, heart monitors and cuffs, IV’s and needles. Yep. I look like one of my old cars!
What were they looking for? To see the cause of some of my symptoms. A full analysis of my brain functions and heart transactions.
And is that not what I wrote of yesterday? Be willing to go deep rather than wide to see all that He is.
I am in a struggle of sorts. Mostly in my mind today. I feel as though I am ”letting folks” down at home and at work. But my greatest struggle is just sitting still! Being confined to a bed. Wearing red socks!
I do want to say thanks to all of you who have written and have prayed.
If nothing else this time has shown me what to let go of, what to hold on to and iterated and highlighted that which I knew to be important.
Allow God to plumb your depths that you might be exposed to His unspeakable depths of love, goodness and kindness.
I wrote this to my friends this morning…
So, please know I am overwhelmed by the private messages, calls and such. I have to say there is no way I will get to them all anytime soon. Currently they are looking and hoping to send me home today to recover. They have ruled out a lot of things and that is hugely good. Sometimes you get a wake up call because you have bypassed things in the name of faith or in my case perhaps stubbornness and not wanting to let people down. Sometimes it is about decision making. Changing things now, before you need to are all important. I am a man of peace , a father of love. Yet, even I must walk with Him on everything that I encounter.
Maybe I did not recognize the death of my friend had so much power or was simply the last straw in a line of things to overcome.
I will always be the one to want to see and do great and might exploits. Our lives to knit together to (k)not..
Love to each of you. May God bless your day.