Personal change

Last night as I was going to sleep I was praying for friends, family, my community, pretty much anything I could find as a target.

I felt this pressure and a voice saying “teach them to pray”. I froze. I knew it was God but it was if He had opened something that was hidden away. I got nervous. I do not always do well with learning curves and change.

My life is often “Look! Another shiny thing!” I like being on to the next thing after something is done. I like having fun. I like being an observer of times and seasons.

But then I thought my grandson spent much of Tuesday saying “grandpa that does not make sense”. Sometimes I was just kidding about something. But yesterday as I was explaining “see you in the funnies” to someone he said “you do not make sense’. For him it was cultural thing. For me… well,until last night…

I needed some “new sense”.

All my life I have avoided the idea “of going back” or starting over. It drives me nuts. But I have been in a season of “starting over”. In fact much of 2014. It revealed to me fears and insecurities. It caused me to get upset and angry. To be frustrated and seek change. I had to open “closets and cupboards” I would have preferred to remain closed. I saw how much the world had changed. I saw how much I had changed.

I have struggled all my life with being “different”. I learned different, I saw different. I avoided some things to excel in other things.

A recent scenario was the inability to recall something. I had “seen” it but things were moving too quickly to remember it. And it ate at me. No matter what I was doing, it prodded me. For much of my life I have had a discipline that requires no clocks or reminders. I just do things. I am far better disciplined and productive on my own than I am in the workplace. Many things come effortlessly. I can not work with music because it distracts me. But I can work with a program of talk and it does not phase me. But here was one I could not recall.

Did I miss it?

Often, while others were just “hanging” out I knew what I wanted to accomplish. If there was any difficulty it was that I felt it the idea was ticking like the watch in the crocodile in Peter Pan! Always pulling. Always drawing.

Why share this? Because I felt God was going to turn “mourning into dancing”. The very thing you cry over is the very thing He loves.

I will begin to share on prayer. He is asking me to go back to my book on declaration and decree and change it. How I hate to revisit things like this. I do not like editing or correcting. I like to have things off my list! And once they are done I like to keep them there!

How do we pray for our families, our communities, our nations? That is what He is speaking to me about. Not just about being a people who pray, but a people intimate with the Father, cognizant of His voice who see results.

I feel as if He is saying to me revision is the value of restoration. Funny how Sarah laughed at God’s promise for a son. Certainly anything but faithful. But wait! Look! Here you read about Sarah in Hebrews 11:11 And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise.

What? What happened? From mocking to faithful?

BECAUSE SHE CONSIDERED! The word consider has its origin in “examine the star”.

God revised her history and restored her. He gave her a new name and new purpose!

He blessed her just as she was.

And so He will us!

What is it God is asking of you? What are the changes He is aligning? What is it that He needs you to change? What is the circumstance you want to change.

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