A daughter’s birthday. 3 grandchildren asleep who never see their father. An early morning chat with a friend. Today is a day to reflect on my role a little as a dad.

The last few years have been “different.” My message has changed. My season has changed. And, well…I have changed. A lot of it has to do with the message I embrace. The grace of God, undiluted, without a doubt.

As a younger man, there were a couple of truths that were frequently spoken over my life.

• “He is a ministry machine. He never stops.”
• “Will he get to heaven?” “If he ever slows down so he doesn’t miss it.”
• “Where is dad?” “Out…”
• “Burnout…you ever think about that?” (My answer probably was “No…don’t have time!”)

Mondays were hard because I “committed” to taking them off! If you grew up with a dad in ministry perhaps you know what I am saying. If you are a dad in ministry perhaps you know what I am saying.

I took my belief in Christ “seriously.” I felt it was “my job” to do it all. Ironically, I never wanted to be in “ministry” just in love with Him and to “help Him out.”

This morning I was looking at old pics of Amy for her birthday and found pics of all 5 of my kids. My grandchildren. My friends.

Let me share a couple of things.

• The message
  The message is important. I have had to go back to my kids and apologize for some of the things I said and believed during some of their childhood. I have two “embarrassing” ministry times I avoid thinking about because of my belief at the time. Thankful they were not with my kids! (Though I am sure they could tell you a few of their own with me!)

And the message you share with your kids has to not only be truth, but it has to work in their lives as well as yours! Is your message grace filled or does it leave your child thinking, “well, it doesn’t matter anyways?”

 

• Honor
  A child who does not feel honored will hang in there just so long and then they are gone. You are the one who administers the water, the light and the food for growth here.

 

 

• Time
  The time with your child is important. A child is way MORE concerned about quantity than quality in this area. No excuses.

 

 

• Play
  Never be afraid to play, to have fun!

 

Don’t ever underestimate your value in your child’s life. Here are some bible examples of the results.

• Talking about Samuel-His sons, however, did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after dishonest gain and took bribes and perverted justice.1 Samuel 8:3
• Talking about David-His own actions caused rape in his family, death of a son, Ammon and the fleeing and subsequent death of Absalom. Solomon stopped embracing God.
• Talking of Eli- Now the sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the LORD 1 Samuel 2:12

Have you screwed up? Made a mistake? Been stuck on stupid? The redemptive power of God is on your side. Turn to Him. Apologize to them!

What I say next may be controversial, but I have never been one to not say what I believe. If your ministry has removed you from your family, estranged you from your young children, is it really God? Have you devoted more to the ministry than to your kids? If you have I am telling you to stop. Your family is your number 1 ministry. Period. End of statement.

Young ministers. Your gift may open doors, but your failures with your children can close them. If it does not work in your family, do not export it.

Dads-be all you can be to your children. Devote yourselves to them. The “pay” is bigger than you can imagine.