Category Archives: Blogposts

A Letter To My Children On Fathers Day

In the arms of my father(I have the great sweater!)
In the arms of my father(I have the great sweater!)

Letter to my kids…

Dear Tyler, Matt, Cass, Amy and Alyssa. (And all the grandkids!)

If for some reason I do not catch up to you this weekend, I want you to know…

I love you! I love you! I love you!

I love each of you in a special way. Ask Tina. What an awesome child each of you is.

I always wanted to be there even when I couldn’t. How many times was that? To save you, to rescue you. You know the times when you called. (Dads are superheros minus those tights. Did I ever tell you I was Superman one year and my mom made me wear tights? To a Cub Scout pack meeting!)

I am here because of a great dad who made a lot of mistakes. I have followed in his footsteps. I have made a lot of mistakes. You will too probably. But if you are willing to learn, to ask and allow yourself the love and correction of those who care about you, you will be better. I probably let you down along the way. Bad clothes, wild hair, terrible jokes-but I am pretty sure that is part of being a dad! Today I remembered a time with each of you that was special and it brought tears to my eyes. But you are here! (And take pictures-you can always be the embarrassment to your own children!)

I love just being with you. Seeing you smile. Seeing you happy. Even now, all these years later, if I could just protect you I would! To know that you are happy is important. I cannot fix in your life what I could when you were young. But I can still hug you, love you and care about you. There is no favorite kid status in my life. Each of you is my favorite.

Life is too important to waste. Too good to dwell on “what isn’t.” Nothing is more important than family and friends. Build well. Life is like oil and vinegar. One cleanses and stings, while the other covers and comforts. Both are necessary to your future, to your today. A couple of quick thoughts.

Your family-if you work on this, so many other things will change for you. It is not about gifts or presents (Though they are fun!) but about interacting and knowing it makes you who you are. Devote yourself to this area and watch other things happen well. When this is strong other areas absorb the strength. Please do not forsake your family!

Your lovelife-Some of you are figuring this out. Some of you are waiting. While the other things I have to say can rebound and bounce, this area is breakable. It requires the mind of a weightlifter, strengthening the “muscles” by daily lifting. Do you add oil or vinegar to your life together? Tina and I have not done it all right, but 20 plus years we are still working on it.

Your spiritual life-God will never leave you nor forsake you. How you pursue Him is your choice. But if you desire change in your life, He is a necessary part. He loves you greater than I and has the ability to help you if you let Him. My life would not be what it is nor would you be on so many levels without Him.

Your friends-One of the most important pieces of your life. Choose well, even having to let go of some. Can you cry with them? Laugh? Who you choose determines a lot in the quality of your life. Do they add water or vinegar?

Your Worklife-I think you all know where I stand on this. Ask yourself this- “Am I in the right business or profession?” Remembering the following will help with this decision “Do what you like and you will never have to work.” My own is “love your work and work is love.”

Your Financial Life-I encourage you to think now and often. I have made lots of money and lost lots of money. Your choices here will help you do better in other areas. Get help. Do not be an instantaneous, microwave person. Learn now and live then!

Your physical and mental life-This is on you. No one else can do it. You know my motto. Daily vacations! Get outside-get away. I know it is not always “possible” but do not let life swallow you up. Evaluate your choices now, not later. Take a walk. Climb a mountain.

With all that said, will you have fun? Today? Everyday? Gosh I hope so! I love each of you so much.

Life can be fun! Whether it was the time where we went shopping like people with the munchies while Tina was gone and the root beer exploded. Motorcycle rides. Camping in the wilderness. Losing the brakes. Learning to drive. Climbing trees. Going to farms. Baseball games. Stupid movies (Didn’t everybody watch Gremlins or Goonies?) or dumb shows. Live life on purpose. With intent!

Made a dumb choice? Laugh! There will be another time. Made a good choice-Don’t gloat, the dumb choice may be right around the corner! Do not be upset. You cannot achieve cosmic consciousness by contemplating cauliflower.

Dad is always a phone call away. I have some of the most amazing children anyone could ever ask for. That’s right. I am talking to you! Look in the mirror and say “Dad says I am awesome!” (I do!) Call me. I love hearing your voice!

Trust me: Wherever I am or ever will be, I am thinking of you and smiling because I love you!

Your Dad

Mr. Arbuckle and His Small Farm

BARROCK1Living in the small rural neighborhood I did there were lots of little farms. One of these small farms was owned by Mr. Arbuckle.

Over time I learned a lot about life, farming and labor from him. He and his wife had retired from Pratt & Whitney aircraft. They had moved down here from Putney Vermont when jobs were plentiful. Their home sat on the end of the road. On one side was the small garage and barn, while across the street was their home.

When I first moved to the small community, driving by I would see his large German Shepherd. Jet black in color it would bark and pull at the chain for every passerby. (One time it got loose and attacked a neighborhood girl. Not too long after his new dog Emmy, a monster St. Bernard appeared.) I used to travel by his home to get to the main road.

One day through the relationship of another neighbor, Mr. Harrrison, I was introduced to him. He was looking for a young person to help with the chores about his small place.

I soon became his right hand man(I was only 8 or so, helping him a couple of times a day for a quarter each time. I would go down in the morning and feed the chickens and geese, gather their eggs and check for critters! Once a week I would shovel chicken manure out into a pile for summer growing. I would have to shoosh the geese out because if they got excited in the small coop it could be dangerous.

I remember at one point someone gave him this black and white Barred Plymouth Rock rooster. It had been hard enough with the other roosters. What a mean bird. Every day he would fly up in my face and attack me. Finally I could not take it, so taking the five gallon pail of water I poured it over him 2 or 3 times. No longer did he attack me.

I would carry the eggs over to wash and put in boxes for the neighbors to buy in the outside refrigerator. Mr. Arbuckle sold vegetables, chicken manure, eggs and the occasional chicken. (Want to learn how to prepare a chicken? Nahhh….Probably not!)

As he became more dependent on me he increased the produce and the chickens. One day he decided to put a well in next to the barn. (No longer would I have to trudge across the street with two 5 gallon buckets.) So, another neighbor, Mr. Cavanna, came over and found a branch. He began to dowse the property. In moments this branch went wild. He asked me to hold onto it. I could hardly keep it in my hands. “Eleven feet, more than enough water right here. “ Wow! I had never seen anything like that. So, as my dad, Mr. Harrison and Mr. Cavanna stood by beginning my instruction, Mr. Arbuckle sat in his chair(He was disabled.)pouring water for me. (Pretty sure they were all drinking Colt 45.) I began to dig and as the hole got wider and deeper, it was not but the following day before I was down in the slimy clay walls, with water trickling about my feet. I learned how to put in the valve and pipe and we were soon filling up around it. Running the line into the chicken coop, we bolted on a head for the crank pump. (Each day I would take some water from the previous day and prime the pump.)

In the spring I would start with picking asparagus and rhubarb, with a variety of strawberries and blackberries shortly after. During that time he would have me go to the barn and begin to pull out the seeds from the previous year. I would spend days planting everything from cucumbers, watermelons, squash, pumpkins and more. Tomatoes and pepper plants would be brought over from trades he made. I learned how to garden. Summer chores now included weeding, hoeing and refining the plants. His new dog Emmy would bark at me all day long from her age. But at the end of the day I would have money in my pocket. I got paid by the baskets for berries and I got paid for all the additional chores at $5 a day.

I learned you did not skip out on chores or bypass work.

He had to grandsons who came to visit. He often had us paint or clean around his home. One summer we were asked to paint the barn. While up on the top of Emmy’s cage, a gallon of paint “spilled” down dowsing one of them in the cage and Emmy. Red did not look good on her.

When his grandsons, Bruce and David came by we would usually get in trouble. Often we would “borrow” his big Chrysler, Chevy Impala or his Dodge pickup (I ultimately bought this 1952 pickup.) for a spin in the dirt pit behind his property. (It was here I learned why you do not shoot an arrow in the general direction of someone riding a bike from a hillside cliff. As the arrow flew towards Bruce riding in on a bike, it was only a miracle that allowed the arrow to embed itself in the front of his bicycle seat and not him.)

When he would go away I was given responsibility for things. One Saturday morning my sister and I went down to feed the animals, including the St. Barnyard. But life went different that morning. She had not had anyone visit, so when I opened the door to put her feed and water in she hit the door with so much force, I could not stop her. She bounded out in to the garage and ran at my sister. She hit her underneath her chin, pushing her into a pole. As my sister fell to the ground she took off. (Never leave garage door open!) She took off and headed towards the main road. It was many hours, but because it was so hot, she stopped running. We rescued her and I learned a lesson.

At some point I outgrew the pay and I think his wife dying knocked the steam out of him. (I will never forget kneeling beside my dad at an open coffin and seeing her chest “rise.” So out of there!) I am thankful for all the things I learned at his hand. Because of his disability I was able to have an educational and profitable opportunity. I made money for treats, trips to swim at Powers Pond and more.

Frankly, I think the world might be different if kids learned about animals, produce and work!

 

My Neighbor, Mr. Harrison.

2014-03-15 11.16.51Mr. Harrison

When I was a child we lived in a small rural community. My mother and father were always good at making friends and when we moved this time was no different. My dad’s friends were frequently considerably different than my mother’s. My dad was an Army veteran who drank hard and worked hard. And a lot of his friends were similar. Mr. Harrison was one of those friends. Continue reading My Neighbor, Mr. Harrison.

Clarifying Problem Solving

Over my life time I have worked hard to not make mistakes. Apparently a lesson in futility. I have made lots of mistakes. The result of mistakes hopefully brings you to a better place, with fewer mistakes and better outcomes.

For instance a young driver might make more mistakes than a more practiced one. A golfer who practices AND gets good advice will usually drop points from his game.

Many rely on life for the response to see if something works or not. Fortunately not everything is by trial and error. Usually you can find someone who has done what you are readying to do and save yourself the “shooting blind” exercise. I often say, “experience is a wonderful teacher, but it can also be rough on your life.” I have told my kids and others that you do not have to experience all of life to know what works and what does not. I do not need to put my hand in a bag of rattlesnakes to know that it could be painful!

While writing the “technical” portion of my book on interrupted process, I found that so much of my problem solving measures I respond with is learned behavior. The behavior developed by study, practice and education. Now practice without study may not better a golf swing. Learning to ride out a skid and turn into it requires one to over come “instinctual behavior” which would turn away.

Clarifying my process of response to interruptions has taken more time than I thought it would and is certainly more complex than I initially would have thought. And certainly one size, one answer will not fit all. There are sometimes those “I have never been here” moments. Sometimes all you can do is pray, hope and make a decision. And not every good decision works out well.

For instance when my home flooded, I quickly moved to remove the 6” of water to protect furniture and our tenant’s $50,000 transmitter. Unfortunately I could not save the furnace. BUT, after a year of doing what had been recommended, I also found that I would have been better off if I had allowed all to be destroyed. The tenant would have sued me and ultimately my insurance company. Because of my salvage actions, insurance never kicked in and my wife and I lost $179,000 over the next few years. I feel I did everything I knew to protect our finances, our home and our reputation. Looking back I see the problem. but if that happened today I would still feel guilty about not doing something.

Decision making will never always be easy or fun, but it does show you are growing up!

Family and Friends (More than a cellphone program…)

Even as I write that, I chuckle, because the latest revelations about snooping indicates we have a wider circle of “friends” than we thought!

Yesterday during our time of worship, I felt the Lord say that many can comprehend “unity” or the concept of family, because of their upbringing. I made a note and wrote the thought and went back to worship.

During the “sermon” time my friend Mark said something about it as well. I wrote this scripture down. “For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also [is] Christ. ”

We are one. I began to think about this. If we do not see from God’s perspective that we are to be one, we “act” out unity from our perspective, from our “location.” One of the symptoms of dysfunction is the need to “isolate.” I am not talking about times of respite or retreat, but the continued move away from others. I get it. Perhaps you have been hurt. But, when one is “hardwired” from the get go for community, moving against that sets up a tension that can move to an unhealthy place.

We have programs that denigrate family because we came to a place where we ascended to unity rather than a place of moving to unity from the working of Christ in our lives.

Using this statement, “I am only human” attacks the fabric of Christ in you, the hope of glory. It is in opposition to 2Cor. 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone [is] in Christ, [he is] a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” A new creation may resemble the old, but is NOT. It is new! A supernatural being with roots in heaven and the DNA of the Father. You can not say “I am just human.”

And if we are not “just human” than not only has our identity changed, but it compels us to change our perspective and outlook on community and family. We need to examine what it looks like from His place and His purpose. “”that they all may be one, as You, Father, [are] in Me, and I in You;”

When we change our thoughts about one another, shaped by the likeness of Him, we will see a move in family that will shake the world. Fathers and mothers rising up with a destiny to be sown, not held on to. A future so bright that worry not enter.

And when we see it is not about our purpose, but His purpose, we will live on purpose.

Family and Friends (More than a cellphone program…)

Even as I write that, I chuckle, because the latest revelations about snooping indicates we have a wider circle of “friends” than we thought!

Yesterday during our time of worship, I felt the Lord say that many can comprehend “unity” or the concept of family, because of their upbringing. I made a note and wrote the thought and went back to worship.

During the “sermon” time my friend Mark said something about it as well. I wrote this scripture down. “For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also [is] Christ. ”

We are one. I began to think about this. If we do not see from God’s perspective that we are to be one, we “act” out unity from our perspective, from our “location.” One of the symptoms of dysfunction is the need to “isolate.” I am not talking about times of respite or retreat, but the continued move away from others. I get it. Perhaps you have been hurt. But, when one is “hardwired” from the get go for community, moving against that sets up a tension that can move to an unhealthy place.

We have programs that denigrate family because we came to a place where we ascended to unity rather than a place of moving to unity from the working of Christ in our lives.

Using this statement, “I am only human” attacks the fabric of Christ in you, the hope of glory. It is in opposition to 2Cor. 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone [is] in Christ, [he is] a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” A new creation may resemble the old, but is NOT. It is new! A supernatural being with roots in heaven and the DNA of the Father. You can not say “I am just human.”

And if we are not “just human” than not only has our identity changed, but it compels us to change our perspective and outlook on community and family. We need to examine what it looks like from His place and His purpose. “”that they all may be one, as You, Father, [are] in Me, and I in You;”

When we change our thoughts about one another, shaped by the likeness of Him, we will see a move in family that will shake the world. Fathers and mothers rising up with a destiny to be sown, not held on to. A future so bright that worry not enter.

And when we see it is not about our purpose, but His purpose, we will live on purpose.

Concentrating On Him

Too many seem to focus on what will be, where they will go and what they will do.

There is a reason this is is relevant. “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” It speaks of being the change where you are.

I have watched too many make “sacrifices” in the name of Jesus, that have cost them financial freedom, families and peace. Peace is our referee, when He is coupled with wisdom.

If you can’ t take care of dishes in the sink, what makes you think you can do it out there.

I have watched way too many “sacrifice” for selfishness and self serving measures only to bankrupt themselves, lose families and destroy credibility with friends.

On the other hand I am not saying make your “home” so comfortable you never leave it or ever see the value in carrying the gospel to other lands.

Too many friends have gone into debt over the sake of the ministry believing that was God, to the place if He called them for a cup of coffee they would need to borrow it. Too many have walked away from the calls on their lives in disappointment because of the money, the prestige and the “glory.”

I would like to suggest that we can “do this thing” with integrity, long lasting fruit and enjoyment.

It begins with you, then family and friends, communities, regions and then to all the world.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Caught Up

Yesterday as I was working, I saw a turkey crossing the field. Unhurried, despite my presence. Moments later a hawk came down to disturb it’s peace. And after what seemed like seconds, a small deer popped into the picture.

Frankly, I miss being in places where those things “happen.” I am sure there was a prophetic picture, I missed, but I was caught up in the “handiwork” of the Lord.

Some times we just need to be caught up.

Money and Ministry

Too many seem to focus on what will be, where they will go and what they will do.

There is a reason this is is relevant. “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” It speaks of being the change where you are.

I have watched too many make “sacrifices” in the name of Jesus, that have cost them financial freedom, families and peace. Peace is our referee, when He is coupled with wisdom.

If you can’ t take care of dishes in the sink, what makes you think you can do it out there.

I have watched way too many “sacrifice” for selfishness and self serving measures only to bankrupt themselves, lose families and destroy credibility with friends.

On the other hand I am not saying make your “home” so comfortable you never leave it or ever see the value in carrying the gospel to other lands.

Too many friends have gone into debt over the sake of the ministry believing that was God, to the place if He called them for a cup of coffee they would need to borrow it. Too many have walked away from the calls on their lives in disappointment because of the money, the prestige and the “glory.”

I would like to suggest that we can “do this thing” with integrity, long lasting fruit and enjoyment.

It begins with you, then family and friends, communities, regions and then to all the world.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”