Yesterday I spent a lot of time with my family. I had my 3 of my grandchildren over as well as my daughter. A lot was going on. The funeral for a friend was one. Making sure I gave the children the time they needed and wanted. Getting ready for a turkey dinner was on the agenda and at one point I took them to look at the house my son and his wife are purchasing here in Keene. (And that lead to going around a looking at other homes for sale.) Finally we got home for dinner and a movie.

Is that important to a reader? It is when you realize that I did not have the luxury of family in my early days as a believer. I had incurred two divorces. Hope for family and being with them was not on the table. I have been there.

A dream last night brought me to this woman’s yard sale. In the dream she had lots of single items that clearly had been part of pairs. As I asked here about various things it became clear this was a divorce sale. A sale filled with hurt and loss of hope. I knew why I was there. I am not sure she did. My questions probed the depths of her life. The disappointments, the hurts, the pain.

I have been divorced twice. I do know the pain. On the other hand I have been married for a third time and it is coming up on 24 years. I understand the hurt, the denial and the results.

I know folks that are in divorce or getting divorced. It is never “okay” nor is it ever without pain. Soul breaking pain. I have seen too many couples assume there is going to be a better time and a better place. And while I understand there is a grace and forgiveness, you are probably looking at a long dark tunnel on many levels. I ask this too…what about the children? The world is not going to stand up. (How do I know? Perhaps you read the news about the Kenyan debacle over vaccines.)Parents are told they will get welfare and counseling if they are apart. How many times have I been party to one of these?

Yesterday I had a rather long conversation with my grandson about the road map to life. (Education, health and relationships.)What is a road map? Something that lays out stops and directions along the way. When I went through my second divorce and was in the church, I began to look for a road map. I was either going to be back together or I was not. Let me just say the next 3 1/2 years of my life were intense. I did a lot of soul searching. A lot of crying. It was not “okay”.

But I found the path. I found the groove and I looked ahead. I made the choice that “with or without” I would be okay. That I would treat me with respect. That I would do what it took to remain in the lives of my children, no matter how painful or the sacrifices required.

I got into it with a man the other day. Divorced, new girlfriend and hurting 14 year old daughter. He asked me what I thought. (My friends know that unless you want the whole enchilada of truth that is not a wise idea!) I told him. Consider selling his house, getting close to his daughter and stop feeling sorry for himself. Stop worrying about “enough money” and investigate love.

I saw him the next day and I could see the signs that he was listening.

I get that “life is hard” and relationships are difficult sometimes. As I told my grandson, relationships are important and key to your future. Look for good ones. Ones that keep you on the path. Ones that grow you.

Yesterday, the question of homosexuality came up. (While weekends in some homes are made for Michelob, here they become the grounds for thought process!)That of course lead to the whole “where is daddy” conversation. Which lead to God and relationships.

And the movie of the night? Hook. Robin Williams and the lost boys. Who is daddy? Where is daddy? Is he involved? Does he want to be? If not, what can be done? Oh the list goes on. But the presence of a father is critical to a child.

In 7 plus years my wife and I have perhaps had 6-8 weekends with no grand child in the home. (Two of those we flew to an island for.)I miss seeing people. I admit it. But someone needs to be there. You do not usually get a second chance at childhood. (Unless you are Peter Pan…)

And that brings me to the road map. What is your road map? Do you have one? Does it include healthy choices? Does it include bettering yourself? Does it include wise choices in relationships? My grandson can want to play baseball until the cows come home, but unless he continuously makes wiser healthy choices, he puts up barricades to good living. Until he recognizes the need for education he limits his options in life. (And yes folks, McDonalds is often the result of choices.)And finally do his friends encourage him in the better life or do they want to play video games and watch TV as well.

I fully recognize that there are detours in life. Roads that are closed for divorce. Views that are missed while taking care of a sick child. Shortcuts that do not happen over sickness or circumstance. But, I admit I would drive around the world to see family happen. To place hope in others.

I get you may be sitting somewhere you do not want to be. (I have been there, living a motel room in the throes of a breaking marriage, eating out of boxes and cartons.) But I am here to extend the hand of hope. God is in the restoration business. He wants to wipe away the tears. Allow him to be your Dad.