Tag Archives: relationships

July 14th 2013 A Little Looking Ahead

An update for you!
An update for you!

My grandchildren being here for VBS took a lot of time, but was well worth it. The last few days the Lord has opened up a garden of beauty and creativity for me to investigate.  I continue to move towards the end of the book on interrupted process.  I add every few days core teachings for the prophetic manual and even snuck in a children’s story, my grandchildren thought was hilarious. I intend for this week to tie some things together, at the same time I have to end my relationship with our Springfield home and get things out of there.

This week 2 things have been resting on my heart. Hospitality-what does it truly look like? (Hint-it is not about you…) and Immaturity-what is our next step. (And it is not about you!) Immaturity is not a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

We do not need a generation of “his majesty the baby.” We need men who are emotionally mature. Women who operate maturely and can identify men who don’t!

Immature people are often self-centered, egotistic and selfish adults. They may have little regard for others and be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings (including “my ministry”). They may demand constant attention, sympathy or compliments. They may avoid participation if they can’t be special. They may obsess about impressing you.

I have a lot to put to words over time on this subject. As my friend Mark pointed out, you cannot just say “grow up” but you must see the process as well as model what it looks like. I will say one of the hardest things I ever see is the man or woman who out of immaturity struggles to be close to those who are mature and have the capability and wisdom to help them to grow. From a life coaching site-Emotionally the struggle is they often cannot handle frustration or criticism; jealous and moody. May have temper tantrums and fear any change. Relationally a person avoids and denies money and relationship problems which require integrity. Seeks people to accuse and blame.

Frankly there were three or four occurrences this week that just added fuel to my thinking on this subject. As a dad, I have advised my children on “what to look for, “and modeled this thinking for them. For instance, I found this on a national dating site.

1) He’s Decisive
2) He Takes Responsibility
3) He Has a Higher Purpose
4) He Has Close Relationships
5) He’s Capable of Expressing Himself

A few weeks ago while working on my book, I found this. (Great refrigerator reminder!)

1. My sons and daughters, choose your friends wisely in the days of your youth, for they shall determine the way you go. 2. A good friend rejoices with you in the praise of God but a bad friend fills your heart with violent thoughts. 3. A bad friend entices you to do evil but a good friend prevents you from sinning against the Lord. 4. A good friend praises you when you speak words of wisdom but a bad friend laughs when you cuss and blaspheme. 5. Good friends will rejoice with you in the days of joy that lie ahead but all the wicked together will despair in the futility of their lives. 6. The Lord knows all your thoughts, He hears every word that comes out of your mouth, and He observes all your deeds. 7. Seek, then, friends who meditate on God’s word, friends who delight in edification, and friends who are zealous in good works. For you are not unaware of the reward awaiting the righteous and you not ignorant of the punishment prepared for the wicked” (Quotes & Things David Collins-a paraphrase of Proverbs 24)

Emotional charges, childish outburst and more all stem from not understanding God’s goodness in your life.

It is as much upon the lives of the mature to dig in as it is in the life of the immature to reach out.

Single interesting tidbit-Boredom In teenagers is considered to be an area of difficulty or a “warning sign” of immaturity.

Those are some of the topics and thinking we will hit on the next few weeks. Look forward to hearing from you.

 

Hard Choices

No one likes hard choices. No one likes hard choices that involve people who have been friends. I am no different.

This past week, I made a decision that evoked some of the strongest emotions I have had in 20 years. A friend had need for his apartment for something to reduce his heating costs. I had a very nice pellet stove that I agreed to leave with him with the agreement he purchase it for half the price I paid. $1,500.

A year later he and his wife have not paid despite emails, texts and letters. I called an attorney and sent out papers. I have to tell you this is one of the hardest decisions of the last 10 years. My hope is that he and his wife will see through to either paying or returning it.

Am I the only one who feels this “badly” about this kind of thing?

Relationship Changes – Are We Open?

A Word To Hear
A Word To Hear

I often find myself thinking about seasons of goodness, of increased relationship, of tremendous change. I just went through a season, so to speak. It was as if my family pulled in “tight” so to speak. I am in a different season now. It is a season where we have not “lost anything” and I can see the gains, but growth and change are not explosive.

Last week, while we were getting ready to sleep, Jacob asked me “how old is God?” I worked some of the easier answers, but he persisted with “how old is He?” I finally told him a “googleplex and more.” Fortunately he was tired enough, not too much more conversation happened. (When I was a child, I remember being his age and lying in bed in this old farmhouse, thinking about infinity and the universe and feeling the “frustration” of not being able to wrap my brain around it. My teachers were frustrated I would not let up on the topic !) Continue reading Relationship Changes – Are We Open?

Halloween and Believers

Christian-Cross-Carved-Pumpkin(Because many have asked my take on Halloween, let me share my recent thoughts. My old thoughts are all over the internet!)

So many know my background prior to becoming a believer and how I got here. In a nutshell I went from being one who religion did not really mean much to, to one day being confronted by God. Continue reading Halloween and Believers