Too often we hear people talk of whether or not something has value. The slightest thing has the potential for polarization. I have long ago come to the conclusion that value is found in Jesus. And what He holds to be valuable is what has value and value that remains.
I wrote yesterday that I felt things were out of kilter. That things were happening that ought not be happening. That there was wrong timing and unusual seasons. So much so did some of it begin to bother me, I reached out to a friend and said, “what are you thinking”. He and I dialogued a little. We both felt the same thing.
Like a graduation from school, your life is not just the “past year” but is in fact the cumulative affects of all your years. So, I thought I should see how my life was doing. In the midst of an “out of kilter” season, I think it is important to check the underpinnings.
First, may I share this. From December 2005.
Over the last four years Tina and I have experienced many losses. Loss of loved ones, positions, places, etc.
Last week we awoke to find our cat, Rainbow could not walk. 4 hours later we had to make the decision to put her to sleep. I have not cried this much in 40 years over anything as much as i cried over the death of a cat, my friend.
Each morning I would awake to either her gentle purring as she tried to wake me up or boisterous meow. She followed me around like a dog. Ironically, only the week before I had written a blog entry about Christians and how they could learn something from her demeanor.
And so we had her put asleep, as she had suffered a stroke. only the night before she followed me to bed where she would lay on the floor so she could watch me.
As the world changes, loss almost seems like a day to day existence. And our hearts have been hardened to death from the countless shows and barrage of news feeds. We approach death and loss, as almost an “oh well” circumstance.
Just the week before I asked the Lord to allow me to be a prophet who weeps over the loss, the death and the pain. Wow! A week later as I held my cat in my hands as she went to “sleep” tears running down my face, I felt the drawing of the Lord in to a realm that struck the core of my being.
That night my “heart” really physically hurt. Something had been torn out and a new feeling put in.
The next day I attended an auction of a family business of 20 years. The husband had died and the wife decided, she wanted out. As I watched 20 years of history swallowed up in the flurry of bidding over the passing of an hour, my heart hurt once again. As I spoke to the widow, I sensed the battle over loss. I followed the Lord’s leading with her and her son and I believe that as they experience this loss of a father, a friend and a husband, that the Lord is establishing peace for them.
This is a season to reach out for those who have lost or may be losing. Last year as my former wife headed towards the end of her life, I did all that I could for my youngest children.
Even as I write, my chest hurts with the pain of our most recent loss, yet I know God is gracious and merciful. And to sit around while others are experiencing loss themselves is beyond me.
Since asking God to make me “more like Him” I have found myself to be a well of His goodness.
My underpinnings I hope and desire are to be founded in compassion and mercy for those He introduces me to. In the midst of catastrophe and seasons of darkness, it is important to know the depth and the value of His love.
Recent losses of important people in my life have caused me to experience unusual and I believe important feelings and emotions for the coming days. It does not mean I step back, but in fact reach out with arms held out.
We talk about love like it is a commodity to be bought and traded when in fact is it not “the air we breathe”? I have said there is an outpouring of love. Love that comes from the inner depth of your being. Love that cries out for mercy and grace.
Many years ago I ministered with a man who I got to know. He was not my style or my understanding, but God had us together for a reason. He and I were in a meeting one night. In the midst of that meeting the presence of God began to arise. In moments an altar was a living are of humanity. As tears and snot began to cover the altar, there was a breaking that was taking place in lives. Hardened hearts were being softened, made pliable in the presence of the One who loved.
My sense of out of kilter is a shifting of “worlds”. The supernatural, the natural and all that is in between. All that we have learned and held high will be shaken. Be tested. (I will write more about this, but have not felt I can as of yet.)
The large question will be… have you loved? The test will not be found with eloquent puffery but will be found in the areas that many might not see. But at some point those things will be made public. Truth be told, love can not be contained, bottled or boxed.
True love brings wisdom. Wisdom knows her children. Is proved right by her children. (Luke 7:35)