When I was a child there was a TV program, Car 54 Where Are You?. It was about two police officers who drove about the city. This sitcom dealt with a funnier side of police life. This morning following a dream in which I kept getting lost this story appeared to me about dads. (The short version is there was a round building owned by the Haman Corp. In it, there were 4 stores, no wait 5 I found out. The difficulty was you would climb the stairs in one location, only to come down the stairs and find out the décor and store at the bottom of the stairs had changed. At one point I walked up the stairs to talk to the garage owner, as I walked down the stairs it had me in a country store setting. I later found out the circular building had been divided into five stores but never figured out how the change came about.)
I thought “Dad’s? Where are you?”
As a dad and now a granddad, I am concerned about the dysfunctional parenting skills displayed by so my parents, but today my “focus” is on dads. Not because I am mad or think there are not problematic moms, just where my focus is. Continue reading Calling All Dads – Where Are You?→
This is a “delicate” article for me to write on some levels. For one, I am biased, being a man and being married. For another I have daughters. And for another I have been around long enough to see what works in the Christian church.
It has to do with “where have all the men gone” and I want to change it. I want the church family to be a healthy place for everyone. I have been seeing a move in the men of God coming and I think this is a piece of it. Continue reading Being A Man Putting On Your Big Boy Pants→
Prior to my encounter with Christ some 20 years ago in a grocery store, my life was to say the least, pretty chaotic. Part of that lifestyle left me with a trail of broken relationships. Even skipping some of the wrongful parts of my life, I always seemed like I was moving on to a new relationship. Even coming into Christianity I was still unraveling many of the characteristics that caused me to “lose” relationships.
But I soon learned the value of retaining relationships. In part because Christ was “doing a work” in my life and godly men and women were participating in my growth. I am thankful for the participation of these folks. Continue reading Beware Of How You Treat Others→
Today I took my friend Mark (A leader on our church team.) to the airport. He is a younger dad (37 years old) who has 5 children. His oldest from a previous relationship is 15 and his four others from 2-10 years of age. During the week this man takes care of his family, whether he is doing dishes, cleaning the house, helping his children with home school or taking them to soccer and dance. He is an awesome dad and I value his friendship.
Recently (The last month or so it seems.) I have had a burden for men and the lives they live. Whether walking through being a son, a husband or a dad. I was not the greatest son to my parents nor was I always the greatest husband at times. God knows my kids might have something to say about my parenting skills or lack of them. My grandchildren by far are getting the best of my life so far. I am super blessed that I get to spend so much time with my children and grandchildren. Continue reading A Father’s Role In His Children’s Lives→
Over the last few weeks I have had this “thing” on my mind about being a dad. What is the value of a dad? How can one help? What do we do with this currently “dadless” generation? So many young people are running around without dads or dads that left mom hanging to struggle in the realms of finance and support.
In full disclosure at one point I was that dad. After the loss of my first marriage, I moved on, having two more children. A second divorce came not long after. I now had child support to pay to two ex-wives and three children. But the Lord entered my life and I saw the need to become more responsible not just financially but to provide support emotionally, spiritually and with physical things like warm housing, food and peace. Paying child support, undergirding two step children and maintaining life was not easy but I made it. At the end of “child support” season I had letters from my ex-wives thanking me for being the man I was.
Last night some of this topic was coming up in our prayer time but the Lord has been speaking to me about it for a long time. Over the years of ministry I faced many challenges with a variety of folks in our church fellowships. They included:
Sons with no dads
Daughters with no dads
One parent households of both sides
Broken parents left behind
Children with lopsided understanding of family
Anger, frustration, hurt, pain and more.
I could and have gone off on wayward parents of children who have left them empty handed, broken and busted. Today is not that day. Today is a new day and I see new focus on men and in particular, dads. Grace tells me God believes in reconciliation and restoration of all things. He also tells me one of our “jobs” is to redeem the time. And so I am moving towards that.
What I see happening….
Years ago, in a small Baptist church I prophesied that when the men dance the church would change. Only days later the Toronto outpouring began and men danced. The last few weeks (September of 2013) I have felt the church’s unprecedented growth will be shaped by men understanding who God has called them to be.
I see that the following are readying to change.
Men will act more like God than ever before towards their wives, children, parents, church family, friends and places of business.
Men will step up to the plate in leading the next move of grace across the land.
Husbands will learn the ways of the Lord towards their wives with grace and love.
Fathers will be fathers as the Father is, to their children. Providing for their children’s emotional, physical and financial needs from a Dad.
Godly men will help children of broken homes in healthy, godly ways.
Young men without fathers will turn to “fathers in the faith” to learn.
Young women will seek out “mothers in the faith” to learn.
Single parents will see God as their supply, not racing for more brokenness.
We are about to see some amazing things amongst men in this land. Men stepping into place. Balanced in all things of God.
I suspect that young men are going to need help here. Young women and young men will have questions. Older men will question how they plug in.
Passing the baton
Malachi 4:6 “He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers
Luke 1:17 “It is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, TO TURN THE HEARTS OF THE FATHERS BACK TO THE CHILDREN, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous, so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”
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The Lord says in Genesis that it is not good for a man to be alone. I agree. (Always good to agree with God!)
In a day when many of the naysayers in my life are divorced and set to the side, Tina and I are coming into our own. This is our finest season. Our greatest moment! We have great children, who while they experience the bump of relationships are doing well. We have 5 lovely grandchildren. And we have a bright future. Continue reading 21 Years Of Marriage→
Last night I had a dream. Interesting because in the dream I had all my hair back! But mostly it reminded me that my anniversary comes up in just a few short days.
My wife and I, on October 3rd will be married 21 years. Who would have thought? Certainly not the naysayers as they spoke their “counsel” over us. Each of us with two failed marriages behind us, who would believe we could make it?
We met in our local fellowship. It was NOT love at first sight. I was always getting in trouble somehow, some way. (The pastor’s wife once said to me that in 20 years of marriage she had only heard her husband yell twice and both times were at me!) Tina avoided me. But one day, I saw her son throw a baseball and no boy is going to throw like a girl, his only role model, I thought. The next thing we knew we were talking marriage. And a few short months later… Continue reading Tina and I Celebrate 21 Years Together→
My wife and I were headed out to be at my mother’s side. She had pancreatic cancer and we were driving out there to say our good byes. We had loaded up the car and were headed out across Connecticut and into New York. I remarked to my wife, “what a beautiful day. Surprised we can not see any planes as close as we are to the city.” Little did I know a rest area would have folks gathered around the TV as the towers fell. My wife came out to tell me. I turned on the radio and we heard story after story. As we got close to Buffalo, traffic was backing up for miles and gas prices were soaring. People were reporting of looting and price gouging and even weapons being pulled. Continue reading Will They Remember 9/11/01→
I got my grandkids all pumped up about it. As we drove from Keene New Hampshire I talked the history of revolution and freedom. About the men who had traipsed from places like Fort At #4 across the miles to Crown Point or Fort Ticonderoga. I talked about Indians and settlers. (I love history and geography!) I showed them sites and thought process.
We drove past Roger’s Rock (Where a man set himself against the French and the Indians in the battle for our freedoms.) and down to the Hague. From there I showed them where Tina and I have often stayed at Silver Bay. The last stretch brought us through Bolton Landing and into the village. Continue reading Yesterday At Lake George September 7th 2013→
Ever since I was a child, the idea of being creative, building things and selling them has been in my head. As a child I worked on a neighbor’s small farm for money. I picked, cleaned, fed and more. From his garden I would buy vegetables, seeds and the like that I could resell. I learned to make cutting boards and boxes in my dad’s workshop that I sold. I started a lawn mowing “business’ that paid me $5 for the average lawn. (Gas was 25 cents!) When I got too many, my brothers helped out and got paid. I started delivering newspapers for 2 hours a day and got paid $2. Shortly after that I went to work in a garage pumping gas at 10 years old. I loved it. The owner let me work on Saturdays and gave me a split from the tire changes and oil changes with him. Good for him –- good for me! Continue reading A Labor Day Thought September 2013→
