In a few short months my 6th grandchild will emerge into this world. Congratulations to Amy and Manley. Earlier this year my daughter was married in St. Lucia, where my wife and I were able to be part of the week with them.
This new child is important to them, to God and to us.
Bless them!
Lately, in the midst of so many conversations about relationships and restoration, I found myself caught up with this quote from King Lear.
I will have such revenges on you both, That all the world shall–I will do such things,– What they are, yet I know not: but they shall be The terrors of the earth. King Lear.
Why you might ask. Because in the midst of difficult circumstances unforgiveness gains a foothold. The inability to forgive or release another is a thought process of revenge. “They hurt me.” “You do not know what they did.” I agree. I may not know specifically but God does and He cares…about BOTH parties. The fuel of unforgiveness or revenge is centered in greed, fear, self-centeredness and pride. It is not about the situation as much as it is about “getting even” somehow, some way. Many might call it justice. But God has a New Covenant reality when it comes to justice or the meting out of judgment. James 2:13 For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment. Romans 12:19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. Continue reading Revenge Is Not From The Heart Of God
On Sunday at our church fellowship, a “tongue” was given and I had the interpretation. It had to do with restoration. (In the last few days I have had reports of restored relationships.) I have been “burdened” with the stretching and breaking of relationships the last month or so. It pains me to see marriages break up, children lost and hearts broken. I just hurt for people.
First, let me say I get that there are times where destruction and abuse and such have taken place. And I understand the need to move apart in the face of these things. That is NOT what I will be talking about. Secondly, my gift mix gives me a different observation perspective and I will share from there. And finally, I am a guy and I get some women may not think I get it! J
The last few months I have watched believing men and women talk divorce, file papers and avoid some of the biggest issues on the plate.Experientially what I see more than anything else is that it is the ability to:
That will change things!
I struggle with the broken relationships. I personally struggle from two past marriages and how they hurt my children though I had “no say” in the finality. (I could not do those 4 things above either.) I would not wish broken relationships on anyone.
And God has changed me…immensely! I get that “things happen” but folks we are believers! We are subject to change because of Him!
How do we get there?
I am a “grace” guy. I believe in allowing people the freedom to make choices, even when they are not healthy or good. I believe grace and truth are found in the person of Jesus Christ, and that grace is a person and His name is Jesus. I believe in extending grace, mercy and forgiveness.
His desire is to restore. Restoration can occur in many places but I believe first and foremost it is the heart of the Father to restore families. Malachi 4:6 And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse
Restoration is defined as: the act or process of returning something to its original condition by repairing it, cleaning it, etc.: the act of bringing back something that existed before: the act of returning something that was stolen or taken
If we say we believe in grace. That we believe in love. Well, I hate to be the bearer of “sad tidings” but we ought to walk it. You have to allow God to change you and move through you. You can have all the freedom you want and call it grace, but if it is trampling on others, hurting others and more, you are not operating in grace, and God is extending you mercy. Grace is the empowerment in your life to love, to forgive and to change.
Do not step up to the plate unless you are ready to hit!
A word on restoration speaks to the atmospheres and the powers of the enemy, but the reality of that word ought to bring change in us as well.
This is a new season for Tina and I.
I wrote this on Friday.
Today is a new season for Tina and I. Our 11th move in over 21 years together. November 1st 2013. (Lots of 1’s.) I have Christmas music playing in the new apartment while waiting for the cable guy to show up and hook up the internet. We will be moved out of our smoky apartment and into this nice quiet place.
Jacob woke up on Saturday morning and said “daddy, I love this place. I slept so well.” It was a busy weekend but everything is moved. So thankful for friends and family that helped this weekend make it happen.
And yesterday these were my thoughts.
Who would have thought moving would have removed the pain?
Over a year ago I became so sick that I could no longer carry my business. Hence a loss of income.
For over a year I have experienced pain levels of 8-10 each and every morning I had stayed in our apartment. The only respite was travel and staying somewhere else.
When it began I put off the doctor, but the sudden weight loss accompanied by the pain drove me to the doctor. Upon entering they wasted no time and scheduled batteries of tests, including endoscopy, blood work, allergy tests, CATscan and MRI. I had a tech who told me “you are here because you have cancer” at which I told him to “shut up.”
The end result was after nearly 6 months, they said they could find nothing. But I still experienced huge pain levels.
Before our move I was driven to just not moving for hours and hours, even though knowing to go outside would be “healthier” just getting up sometimes took all my energy. For the most part, few knew the extent of what was endured.
We are moved and I am thankful. Overnight the pain left. My voice is being restored.
I am thankful for all the friends and family who have made this possible. I really appreciate each and every one of you.
I am not sure what exactly is on the table for the future. Tina and I have a day to ourselves on some levels as I move one more carload today.
A lot of things are up in the air, so to speak. But grace is the empowerment to overcome.
Thanks for all you do.
A new season. For us. For many.
Today in my own life I will be packing to move tomorrow. Seems good to end the nightmare on Halloween!
Lately I find myself telling others how amazing grace is not just because I believe it but because I have seen it. In the last few years I have seen more marriages healed, children restored (Even kidnapped ones!) and restoration come to family units than the first 20 years of my Christianity. I am not ready to say I have seen more miracles and healing yet in the last two years, but it is clear we are heading in that direction. Continue reading A Season Of Change-Readying For The Next Step
(Because many have asked my take on Halloween, let me share my recent thoughts. My old thoughts are all over the internet!)
So many know my background prior to becoming a believer and how I got here. In a nutshell I went from being one who religion did not really mean much to, to one day being confronted by God.
I had various touches with His word, but not so much Him. When I went through a tough time with alcohol and drugs I went to a minister and asked him to help me. He told me he “did not think God could help” me.At another time, I fell in love with a girl. Her mom was dying of cancer. I found that white covered bible from my early days in an Episcopal or Congregational church that had been given to me. For some reason I was drawn to the book of John. I talked to her a few times about God(in my limited understanding) and tried to bring comfort to her life. Her mom died, she found another guy and I gave up on God.
It was not the first time I felt like God “let me down.” (This is just one of the problems of giving people rules and regulations, and not relationship(s).) I went through it another time when I was going out with another “religious” girl. I just could not match up.
In the early 80’s I started a business. Jewelry and gifts and what was soon to become so much more. I was going along making a good living. One day while I was gone, a gal stopped by the store and left some of her creations for me to view. What I found myself attracted to was the ugliest ring you could imagine. I put it on and I could “feel” something. I found myself ordering things for my store I had never previously cared about.
Soon, books, potions, herbs and you name it, began to fill my stores. 5 of them at one point. What began as no understanding progressed to New Age and more. Never one to just go slow, I went crazy. In more ways than one. Even friends who had worked with me saw. Now people working with me had names like Raven and Princess. I found myself drawn into the darkest of realms. My mind was out of control.
And that brings me to Halloween. So many have asked me my thoughts on things related to this. I have been around long enough to know the many ways the church has dealt with Halloween. I have two thoughts I feel that are important.
One, each one of us i called to handle Halloween in our own way and as God leads. My biggest concern with Halloween is and always will be children. My grandson is 6 and he will do what I do. He tells people he wants to be like me. My over riding concern is the desensitization of children. Someone sent me a photo of a beheaded person a few weeks ago. An honor killing. They asked my thoughts. I COULD NOT LOOK AT IT! And yet kids today, many have no problem with some of this stuff. Cartoons, videos, the internet. The value of human life has been cheapened by the world.
And now the bigger problem. The church. For years we have practiced isolation. Maybe bad theology. Maybe bad eschatology. Maybe no grace. The issue is this. We will never turn people around until we, the church, turn around and turn away. From our buildings, programs and thinking that keeps us from reaching out and seeing the kingdom of God for what it is…people.
Maybe it was 12 plus years of pastoring. Maybe kids and grandkids. Maybe I am just old enough to see love, really does cover a multitude of sins.
I know we have not made it through Halloween but when you have family in different states, married children with new families you learn to make plans. And seeing my first Christmas lights, well, it excited me.
The holidays! Yippee! Break out the lights! As I have said in previous columns I am a huge fan of the holidays. Over the years my wife and I have used this opportunity to open our home to many. We have had people out of prison, off the streets and folks who were “worse” off than us. We have had as many as 25 people in our living room sharing our meal. This year is somewhat different as we are “displaced” on some levels with our home, but our children and grandchildren will still be with us and who knows, maybe someone who needs company. Over the last year or so, I have lost a few friends. I am sure their spouses would appreciate the company of others. Nothing can replace the life lost, but healing is a process and it often begins with friends and family. Continue reading The Trinity Of The Holidays Nears
Yesterday I was walking around my community and I thought look at all these adults and no kids walking. I thought I would love to be walking with one of my children or grandchildren. My children would probably keep up with me while the younger ones would stop for leaves and bugs and rocks.
The more I walked the more I thought.
Jesus said “I only do the things I see my Father do.” Let me tell you children are like that. As the influencing male in Jacob’s life, he has wanted to dress like me, read like me and kid around like me. Continue reading Your Child is Watching
When I was a child there was a TV program, Car 54 Where Are You?. It was about two police officers who drove about the city. This sitcom dealt with a funnier side of police life. This morning following a dream in which I kept getting lost this story appeared to me about dads. (The short version is there was a round building owned by the Haman Corp. In it, there were 4 stores, no wait 5 I found out. The difficulty was you would climb the stairs in one location, only to come down the stairs and find out the décor and store at the bottom of the stairs had changed. At one point I walked up the stairs to talk to the garage owner, as I walked down the stairs it had me in a country store setting. I later found out the circular building had been divided into five stores but never figured out how the change came about.)
I thought “Dad’s? Where are you?”
As a dad and now a granddad, I am concerned about the dysfunctional parenting skills displayed by so my parents, but today my “focus” is on dads. Not because I am mad or think there are not problematic moms, just where my focus is. Continue reading Calling All Dads – Where Are You?
This is a “delicate” article for me to write on some levels. For one, I am biased, being a man and being married. For another I have daughters. And for another I have been around long enough to see what works in the Christian church.
It has to do with “where have all the men gone” and I want to change it. I want the church family to be a healthy place for everyone. I have been seeing a move in the men of God coming and I think this is a piece of it. Continue reading Being A Man Putting On Your Big Boy Pants
