The Awkwardness Of An Age

alyssacamera 004Even in the darkness of the camping area there was no fear. Oh, there were the trees that formed shadows and the noises of the night that caused a check in my walk, but it was startling and not fear creating. I knew where I was going and not even in the darkness was I fearful.

I had a pretty interesting dream this morning. It vacillated between the innocence of being a child and the darkness that seemed to await those that wandered off the properties. It reminded me of Batman’s Gotham City, the camp I attended as a child(Keewaydin)and the reminder that while a child’s  life may be awkward it is but a season.Innocence is something that the church ought to major in. Not only in being innocent but in the protection of innocence itself. How many times have I opened the news to see yet the destruction of one more life at the hands of family or friend? Only this morning I watched yet another person arrested for preying on others. But it is bigger than that. We do not even seem to value innocence on so many levels. There is a childlike innocence or purity that is in life. And yet our world’s nature to pervert it or turn to the grotesque is always knocking at the door. (Please rest assured I know why we have laws; I know the world does not know and I get it.)

Being a child is awkward in itself. You are in a world you do not plan on with people you might not know and trying to walk through life. I was an awkward child. (I was the neighborhood brat which added to my list of difficulties…) I played lots of sports and such but the awkwardness was I had lots of freckles, grew too fast, hair that was out of control and “social issues” related to my “fun loving” nature and pranks. (One of my mother’s friends who was married to an ambassador thought I was so out of control she sent me a book on manners and such.) In the midst of all that I was pretty naive. And if you think you might not have been “awkward” dig out those old school pics!

The result of that time as a child is I work hard to love family and friends. I share as much of my family’s history with family and I work to establish a time in people’s lives that is from the presence of God.

The last place in a dream was a dance floor. Dusty cement floors, old light bulbs on the ceiling and lots of camp counselors. (Was there anything more awkward than your first school dance?)We had arrived in these old, long black cars. Delivered to the door, it was a summery night. As I walked in I went to the refreshment table. There was what looked like sticks of bubblegum in cups along with cookies and soft drinks. The music was sounding strained and not very enthusiastic. I grabbed one of the cups with gum and began to chew it. (In real life I do not chew gum and certainly not bubble gum.)I felt the world changing all about me. I realized others were not reaching for them while everything went into slow motion. What I saw was evil trying to get in the building. I was not high but my eyes had been opened to “truth” and now everything had implications of what the world held. The gum caused me to see into the future. These children and adults in the room were facing destruction. Children laughed at me and I headed to find a mirror. While I was gone the other children began to grab the gum. I looked in the mirror and I saw the impact of life. Not life with Christ but a life lived outside of Him. I thought I have fallen into some bizarre world or experiment. The music began to subside in the hall. The laughter did as well. The age of innocence had been broken. I awoke.

There was much more to the dream before the dance hall scene. We as children had a carefree existence. We worked with family and friends, but we laughed and sang songs. We played and had fun. Our lives were full. Our futures to be happy.

Like Adam and Eve eating the fruit, innocence was lost. The real world came cascading in. Terry Jack’s lyrics had this to say in the 70’s We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time 

Really? We are better than that as the church.

I awoke with more questions than answers. Is the real world evil? Can we change it? (If we can raise the dead and heal the sick I think so.) Does it matter? What are our responsibilities? What do we do that changes things?

I think the preservation of innocence is value we must and need to embrace. As the church if we do not, who will? While the world hammers at every door and window of a child’s life the church needs to be a place of safety, innocence and rest. Like so many church fellowships we see our share of children with one parent, brokenness, where life as God intended it has been ripped away. This is not an accusation but simply an observation and a reality. But of all places we could be, the church has the knowledge and the ability (And the faith!) to change this. We ought to be praying for marriages and families and keeping out all that moves against the family and its foundational principle, to be a picture of God and His children.

Romans 16:19 tells us “For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.” To be innocent of evil. It is not just the avoidance of the world and its hold, but I believe it is place not only in our hearts and minds but a reality we are to make.

As I recollect the awkwardness of my youth, in retrospect it was not more of the world and its knowledge I needed but more time to enjoy the life I had. Church, I would encourage you to get over your “awkwardness” in the world and embrace your rightness in Him. A robe, a ring and sandals awaited each of us. That is the essence of innocence.

Written by Lee Johndrow

Lee Johndrow

Lee is the Senior Leader of Abundant Grace Fellowship Church in Keene, NH

He is the father of five wonderful children. Married for over 26 years to his wife Tina. Loving life with family, friends, faith, fun and food!


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