What We Chew On

Last night one of my dreams put me in the position of being “hurt” by others and watching them be hurt as well. The hurts were physical. Not deadly or catastrophic but those little “pains” that you know have a deadlier or more sinister meaning. You know the feeling, like you are going to pay for it later or they would have hurt you more had no one been looking.

I woke up feeling not “my pain” but the pains of the many whom were hurting. What I realized was I was the only guy in the dream. These young women were taking their hurts (As they hurt each other.) out on me. Even in the dream I thought this unusual. For one I did not recognize any of them that I could recollect. And I knew I had not seen them until I walked by them on the street or in the park where I was.Now I recognize that we are in a season of seeing women restored to their rightful place in equality in the church. I know that we are seeing amazing things. Keep in mind I have daughters and daughters-in-love in my life so this struck me funny on some levels in an unusual way. So, I walked this out with the Lord and I came up with a few answers I believe are important.

1. I am not naïve.  I do see it as I may be the brunt of attack on some levels simply because of being a guy or a leader in the church. (More on the latter.)
2. I think in the midst of this renewing of our minds with regard to women in the church, we may want to gloss over the pain that they have gone through. Not all but perhaps many. And with regard to guys, they tend to compartmentalize this. This area is need of healing, reassurance and perhaps timing. We need to somehow as the church and as men, work to not “speed” up the process and end up with a larger mess on our hands than the one we are unraveling.
3. I sensed a lot of the “slave mentality” in the dream. I struggle with this on a few levels. Perhaps it is the knowledge that my family owned plantations in places like Virginia and Louisiana. My mom shared that even in the 1930’s she stayed in homes of family members that “employed” black “former” slaves. The italics on those two words are important, because in my mom’s mind they were still slaves. Let me share a definition of “slave mentality” from a young black woman writer.Is one of feeling inferior or of feeling lost without hope, a feeling that we do not have the power to significantly alter our own circumstances. Another sad symptom of having a slave mentality is believing that White(Or church leaders or men-my note.) people are superior, have all the answers, and are empowered by God or a person conditioned to quietly, and without objection, accept harmful circumstances for themselves as the natural order of things. They’re also conditioned to accept their master’s view and beliefs, about themselves, and strive to get others, within their group, to accept the master’s view.

   Wow! That says a lot. The women in the dream were FREE! They were walking around and hurting not only me but one another. (My wife tells me women are often harder on women in ministry or desirous of answering their call than men.) We see this mentality active in men as well, but staying focused here.

4. The most interesting thing was the attacks were done with their fingernails. Beautiful nails that hurt. I woke up thinking it was ugly nails that held Jesus in place and beautiful nails that hold them in place. That the attacks did not accomplish what they had set out to be. Beautiful women. Who are valued.

I have beautiful daughters. As a dad I had more than my share of conversations about beauty and dress and the like. I have learned that beauty has an inner quality that can be hurt or even destroyed. But the nails that hung Jesus helped make provision for a beauty that is not just eternal, but tangible and real.

I want to be the dad who sets his daughters free. Sees his wife enjoy the freedom God intended. And as a leader in the His church, be part of the empowerment to restore freedoms that were stolen by bad teaching, fear and greed.

The church has not always been a safe place for women. I get that. But I also get, like the women walking free in the park in the dream, one must recognize their freedom. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 2 Corinthians 3:17 The church that allows for liberty (freedom) has provided the place of His goodness. It is in that place one must appropriate the freedom. It is not enough to know one is free but one must walk as free. It cannot be a head thing.

I get the wounds and the hurts and the pains. I understand the feelings of being used and abused. But I can tell you hanging on to them will not help you but only hold you.  The past is no rewarder and carries no freedom.

Today is the day of your freedom. Walk in it.