Category Archives: Family

Hospitality – Honor – Home – How Do you Rate?

dronesofheaven

empty chairsIt is nearly Thanksgiving…Usually one of the first shots at “family”. (Sometimes in more ways than one!) I want to be clear, as I “unpack” something. My childhood table did not always happen well. We had drunkenness, fights and even blood…So hear my heart. Jesus can “grow” you up.

Hospitality

I love people. It doesn’t matter whether they are friends, family or foes. I really do. (I drive my wife crazy sometimes. I am sure she can tell you how many hundreds have set at our table, slept in our beds, on our couches and more over 20 years. This year will be no different. And it probably is one of the major reasons I bemoan the loss of our home through no fault of ours. NO ROOM!) Continue reading Hospitality – Honor – Home – How Do you Rate?

Going To War – A Time Of Prayer, Declaration and Decree

A Word To Hear
A Word To Hear

I had concluded last night that today I was going to war. Going to war in the fight against injustice. Against wrongdoings. A time of prayer, declaration and decree. I want to be clear I am not going against people. (Ephesians 6) We do not battle people but the devil and dark angels. BUT, we are “battling” a defeated foe. And we battle from a high position, seated with God.

Today is the birthday of my youngest son, Matthew. I am excited for him and all that he has accomplished. (I am excited for all my kids!) In many respects he is the product of “war.” Headed to a Buddhist monastery he had set his sights on, he gave up his possessions and was readying to leave. That prior weekend I had come to the conclusion that this would not, could not, happen on my “watch.” I devoted a time of war and engagement to him. A series of incredible miracles occurred before the end of the week, the most amazing being his salvation that Friday night. Continue reading Going To War – A Time Of Prayer, Declaration and Decree

Empty Chairs – An Opportunity For Blessing

empty chairsThis morning I woke, coming out to the living room and sat here for a moment. A quick rehash of what might be accomplished today was on my radar screen.   And then I looked at the floor. Four very empty children’s chairs. A part of me sees the prophetic in the picture. That if you “build” it they will come. The chairs had been moved from our destroyed home in Springfield. My wife and I had cleaned them up and put them on the floor. The first thing my grandchildren did upon arriving last night was go to sit in them excitedly.

There is something about the preparation for a child or children that excites me. These four empty chairs and a table suggested my love for them, hospitality towards them. I never look at those chairs or the pictures of my children without thinking of my love for them. Without uttering a prayer. (There is a large piece here for people. Do children feel welcome?)

Emptiness is a target for the love of the Lord. Do you feel empty? God can fill you up. Continue reading Empty Chairs – An Opportunity For Blessing

The Front Porch Is Just The Beginning

A Snippet Of Truth
A Snippet Of Truth

For those in New England there is nothing cooler that sitting on a front porch (Not a deck, but a covered porch.) watching the seasons change or enjoying a summer thunderstorm. The front porch meant exactly that. It was the place where you sat and had family times. It was the place of cool summer drinks and times with friends. Many of the front porches I have had over the years, not only kept the weather off, but provided a respite from the heat of the home in summer. A place to watch the river across the street meander by. New England porches usually were close enough to the road in front to wave to strolling neighbors. Often a neighbor would climb the stairs and sit down with you.

I love front porches. I love the sense of community. The fun times. Continue reading The Front Porch Is Just The Beginning

Mrs. H and the Frog – Why Boys Are More Fun

A funny story
A funny story

When I was a child my parents hired a babysitter. Her name was Mrs. H…And she and I did not see eye to eye about many things. She was a short, very overweight person. She thought my brothers and I were “hell on wheels” and would speak with her Polish accent in short bursts of rules.

Because of the way she treated me she was often the brunt of my growing sense of humor and general boyhood thinking.

One day I caught a frog. (Her husband taught me!) A rather large frog. You cannot catch a frog and not plan on doing something with it. I decided to put the frog in the toilet in case my dad would let us cook it. What I did not count on was Mrs. H using the bathroom while I contemplated what to do. I was in the closet getting something to put it in, when she walked into the bathroom (A very large country bathroom with a closet on one end and the toilet on the other.) In the process of her opening the door, she closed the closet door. At first I thought it was one of my brothers. But then I heard her humming to herself. I looked out the key hole to make sure. And sure enough, it was her and she was going to use the toilet. Now nothing could be seen from the keyhole, because of the positioning of the toilet, behind the bath tub. And she was very near sighted, so she did not see the frog. A few moments later thought the frog jumped and so did she. She was screaming in Polish and English and whatever other words meant “Help!” I was laughing so hard as I saw her head around the corner, I nearly needed a toilet.

She ran down the stairs looking for me. I decided to head out the window at the end of the bathroom and wait on the roof for my mom to come home. I have to tell you, by now I was in hysterics. It was so funny in my head that I just wanted to see her. So, I climbed down the old lilac tree (The one my brother fell out of when we were playing hide and seek in the dark on the roof.) and looked in the kitchen window. There she was with my brothers lined up, yelling at them to find me. I was rolling. The upshot was, my parents came home and it was all they could not to laugh as she told them of the horrible thing I had done. I didn’t get in trouble…that’s what counted that day.

Over the years I have thought of the things I have done and didn’t get caught. Despite the “not getting caught” part, I have still felt badly. No, I couldn’t change things, but I often wonder of the things that might have been, had I not done the wrong thing in the first place.

 

Marriage In The Trenches

Tina and Lee wedding
Tina and Lee at their wedding October 3rd, 1992

Real marriage doesn’t usually happen in the bright of day.

Someone asked how Tina and I were doing in the midst of our traumatic house loss. Our answer is, “we are doing good.” Sure we are emotional about the loss and all it entails, but at 3PM today, it was behind us. And we are doing well. Our marriage is strong. Continue reading Marriage In The Trenches

Tick, Tick, Tick-The End Of A Season

An update for you!
An update for you!

Yesterday my wife came home at 6:50. In the car was the last stuff we were pulling from the house.

Today at 3PM, our home goes to auction. If you are interested in the long version, I posted that yesterday. Or you can visit the Facebook page to visit pics, etc..

Bottom line we did all that we knew how to do. Right up to the final “bell.”

If I learned one thing in the last five years there are a lot of good people in the world. Many who are content and willing to call me their friend.

There are a lot who took the opportunity as well to lie, steal and cheat while Tina and I went through this season of our life. Bless you!

This week my son came alongside to help out. Thanks Tyler! A friend Matt joined as well as various family. Over the years my friend Mike showed up , along with Joel and Robin to help out. My friend Dave from Barre and his crew. The folks from Village who joined in. And so many more.

There is a freedom that comes at 3. My best efforts will never have been in “vain.” Someone had a dream about me and the freedom that comes with this. I simply believe. (A balloon was tethered, but this week it was set free to travel.)

It is funny, last night I was thinking about the last winter I was working on the house. I was up there by myself, working on the second floor. The next thing I knew or remember I was laying on the cement below with blood on me, the ground and the snow. No recollection of anything. Called my wife to pick me up. She wanted to take me to the hospital. I said, “no Thanksgiving is tomorrow.” She was not impressed. I had a lovely weekend despite the headaches and headed to the ER on Monday. The sacrifice? Nothing compared to others.

So, the clock stops ticking today for us in Springfield. New life, new season.

Mickey Mouse popped out of my mind onto a drawing pad 20 years ago on a train ride from Manhattan to Hollywood at a time when business fortunes of my brother Roy and myself were at lowest ebb and disaster seemed right around the corner. Walt Disney


Legacy Must Be In The Air

Worship Mentoring at Village
Worship Mentoring at  The Village Church

The Lord has really put the thought process of legacy in my heart over the years. When I spoke on Sunday, I talked about it some. When I looked at the destruction of my home, I was again brought back to the thought of legacy. And earlier this week I wrote about legacy.

Last night after prayer at Village I went in and watched the worship team in their practice. The best part for me was to watch two young girls join the worship team in preparation for this weekend. One may be 10 years old and the other is younger. One of the worship leaders sat in a chair behind them to instruct them and give them encouragement.

To me that is the epitome of what I am talking about. A real mentor will be behind the scene. A true parent will be coaching, instructing their child in preparation for their own adult life.

So, I was encouraged to come home and find this post by a friend, Lynn Hiles.

Parents if you want to be your child’s friend now you will have to be there parent later. If you will be there parent now you can be there friend later. The Kingdom does not come from the White House it comes from your house. I am still a firm believer in the power of family and local church. The kingdom is the organic result.

There is a shirt that says “Parenting is not for cowards.” How true. If you are going to be a good parent you will have to get involved in your children; good, bad and ugly. The same is true for legacy. 25 year olds…in 10 years, if you are not already, you will most likely, be married, settled somewhere with a career going forward. You will not be doing what you are doing now. My question is  will you begin to put yourself out of a job? In church, you may be a worship leader or a Sunday school teacher. Who are you bringing alongside as your replacement? In social life, you may coach or instruct young people. Who is your mentoree? Mentoring is part of having a destiny.

One of the reasons I get frustrated with the “destiny” talk is because to accomplish something you often need to leave something. Too often folks are caught up in the “me” and not the “them.” While a church leader can replace the worship leader or the Sunday school teacher who may leave, seeing the legacy of your good works and your investment, flawlessly moving to another, enhances not only their lives but is enriching yours. It is the stuff destiny is made out of.

I have seen the difficulties of flawed mentoring and coaching models. In the world they are often people placed in lives, but the church has the ability to embrace the family idea. It is always a good time to come alongside.

As I watched my friend Heather, coaching last night during worship, I thought that really is the picture on so many levels. She moved down to their level. Getting eye to eye (One of the greatest photography difficulties I have seen over the years is the person shooting down on a child. Get down to their level. Kneel, crawl or lie down. You will be amazed!) meant she could see them and they could see her. She sat behind them helping them along the way. The long term goal is for you to no longer be visible in so many areas. Seated, giving them their turn, their opportunity.

I love reading about legacy and all that it entails. Over the years a couple of my spiritual dads sowed the works of John Maxwell into my life. If you are interested in truly building a legacy whether in the church, business or personal, you may be interested in starting here

Live life with intent and the idea that everything you choose is and will be important. Not everyone will accept what you have to offer, but I assure you thee is the young man or woman, who identifies with you on some level.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.”  Shannon L. Elder

 

 

Destiny & Legacy Are the Building Of A Forever

Passing the baton
Passing the baton

(The recent loss of my home has forced me to look further into legacy and destiny.)

Everyone wants a destiny. Jeremiah 29:11 ‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. It’s hard to have a destiny until you believe you have a legacy. When we see the legacy thinking pattern of the Father, we begin to drill down to release those coming. God wants to participate in your destiny.  Destiny apart from legacy is a self-centered, individualized trip. The world’s best businesses are operational with the belief that you “put yourself out of a job.”

It is more than a delegated handoff where you build without investment, just to build. Inheritance fades away as we spend it but a legacy lives on after we die. It perpetuates. Inheritance activity may or may not pay off but legacy activity becomes accomplishment. You have built something into peoples’ lives that is substantial. We are building for a “forever.”

I am passionate about destiny and legacy. I had written destiny and legacy were tied together. Last night a good friend said to me, I did not go far “enough.” He said that integrity is important in the “equation.”. In thinking about it I agree. A parent who makes promises and never keeps them, just to “kick the can down the road,” will lose value and possibly relationship with the child who comes to believe that they cannot keep a promise.  “Promise little, deliver plenty” is a business principle that would go a long way in the day to day understanding of legacy.

Integrity-The Important Component
When talking about legacy, your integrity in the following will be important.

  • Keep promises
  • Practice what you “preach”
  • Build with purpose
  • Development a relationship founded on love
  • Do not build for what you may derive out of it.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Biblical Destiny Is Communicated To People by God

Biblical destiny is not a person’s good idea

1. Destiny doesn’t originate from within us. It is not generated by our desires or ideas. For example: I thought in When I was ordained things would be a certain way and “counted” on that. At this juncture I would say, that was not my destiny though I was content to do it forever. When Tina and I married I thought we would never leave the town we were married in. Within two years we moved across the state.

2. None of these ideas were wrong in themselves / none of them were bad desires / it’s just not what destiny is all about.

3. Example: Moses had to learn the same thing: Explain / raised in Egypt until 40 / great idea to deliver Israel – Another good idea gone bad!

• Destiny doesn’t originate from within us.

Is. 55:8 “…My ways are far beyond anything you can imagine…” (NLT)
God is the communicator of destiny

We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. Psalm 78:4

Legacy-The Leaving With Another

God has eternity in mind. Everything we do is not for a moment but for eternity. It should be an inter-generational transfer until Jesus come.

We want to build not just an inheritance but a legacy. It is said you can either give your child a fish or you can teach him how to fish. An inheritance is leaving them a fish. A legacy is leaving behind the knowledge of how to fish.

This means we have to put values into their lives, an infrastructure. They can eat up the inheritance but they cannot expend the legacy if we have imparted unto them.
God desires that we leave a legacy and not just an inheritance.
Proverbs 13:22, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children: but the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.
Proverbs 20:21, “An inheritance may be gotten hastily at the beginning; but the end thereof shall not be blessed.

Grandchildren are the crown of the elderly, and the pride of sons is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6

1. It’s never too early to start thinking about leaving a legacy.
2. You don’t have to be perfect to leave a legacy of faith.
3. Like most worthwhile endeavors, leaving a legacy is like sowing seeds.

Release
There comes a time to say to a son or a daughter “this is your time.” Your position moves from “parent” to prayerful support. Too often we see talented, anointed people held back so that a parent can continue to receive the limelight. God is jealous for His people. He may decide to remove them. Freedom is a powerful word and concept, but one needs to understand it is the essence of empowerment and change. Too often we love freedom in our own life and deny it on a level with others.

How old do you have to be to build legacy? If you are willing to live in the realm of integrity and willing to pursue the destiny God laid out and recognize the value of the body, you can pretty much start at any age. Who can you mentor? Who can you value? Sowing into another’s destiny accomplishes and often accelerates yours. I am not talking about the “mutual” adoration club, where “you are so good.” “Thanks! So are you!”  I am talking about developing a lifestyle of serving with integrity, sowing into an upcoming generation and seeing it as God’s heart.

Examine your priorities. God wants to leave a legacy in your life. He wants to put value in your life. He wants to put something that is forever in your life.

Our Final Week In Springfield

By the end of the week, all of our ties to the community of Springfield will be severed. Our home will be in auction. Through no choice, no fault of ours.

In 2008 my wife and I had moved to the next phase of our life with our home. We were readying for 2  apartments to add on our home for family to provide sufficiency to our lives. A 5 room lower level. A 2 bath, 4 room upper level. Complete with generator and income production. The meadow provided for our children and the grandchildren. We had just added a $20,000 septic system and were ready for the next stage.

August 5th, 2008 all life changed for us.

Video

The destruction of my home-I have made this considerably longer than the other parts and pieces, because it consumed so much of my life and what I was doing. It affected me spiritually, emotionally, financially and physically.

We had a home on a hill. 40 mile views, meadow, peace and we called it our own.

The state was asking us to remove the 2,500 gallon underground oil tank that was at the rear of the property. It abutted the foundation of our lower level. So, after going back and forth for a few years, my wife and I agreed. We did all the normal; bids, inquiry and information. We decided on the contractor. With 24 hours of the work being completed our lives were upside down.

Early in the morning my daughter came up stairs to let me know her room was filling with water. 6” of water and more coming in. Through the utility room, through the back wall.

When I think about the damage that was done to the house I have to say I go through all the emotions. I’m reminded of the times I would sit up on the roof with my kids just looking out over meadows, out over the Connecticut River and into Hampshire.  I would think how cool is this? Even lying here now and thinking about lying on the roof and looking out wells me up with emotion. Times that are now memories, with seemingly no hope for more.  I think about the barbecues with Jacob, Jordan and Mariah sitting at the picnic table eating dinner with us. Hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, all those things and I just wonder how much I have lost. In the midst of this, I remember sitting there the night the house flooded when my daughter came upstairs and told me there was water all over the floor and I remember the sinking feeling I had.

I always believed that a good father left a good legacy and I know legacy is more than just things. My personal plan was to put the addition on, have the property be income producing and be available for my children and their children to live on there. To have the house be debt-free and to be able to invest in my children, my grandchildren and my great-grandchildren. I remember the first words that were spoken over the house where friend of mine Wayne said this is truly an “eagle’s nest” as he sat with 43 of us in the living room. I remember all the Christmas trees (14’ footers) and how I would be there and put these trees up and my wife would not look as I climbed up on top of the ladder and reached out over the Christmas tree. Our Christmas trees were sometimes so big that they did not even fit in the living room and they covered the door. I’m sad because I do not have the ability to have that type of Christmas tree anymore. Sad because I do not have the ability to even go out my front door and run into a critter. (I have had snakes on my deck, moose resting their head on my railings, turkeys and birds in the birdbath…) I’m angry because I live in an apartment now and every time the people downstairs smoke it enters into my apartment. Because of our financial situation I can even get another apartment. I’m not looking for sympathy or for you to feel sorry for me. That’s really not my thinking. My goal is simply to point out that in the midst of everything sometimes life gets interrupted as you understand. It messes with you.

I remember the first year I fought hard to save my house.  I spent two whole months working hard. We were waiting for insurance that did not come. For respite and help that did not materialize. My wife would tell you nearly we spent 24/7 pumping water out of the basement waiting for the “rescue.” Making sure pumps functioned, that water went outside and not back into the house. I was so thankful when my friend Mike showed up and offered to watch the house for 24 hours and we could just get away.

I remember the installation of the drain system the next year and the financial costs.  $10,000 for the interior and $13,000 for the exterior. (Pumps, lines, etc..)  For what? Even as I went to the house this week the basement was soaking wet after all that investment. What do you do with that? The last few days I’ve been up at the house or sorting through the boxes. As I walked to the house I see the grass that’s not mowed, the lawn that’s just out of control and the skeleton of the new structure we were trying to put into play. As I entered the hallway and I saw the books on the shelves in the clutter in the hallway a part of me that feels out of control. I look at the bench where children and grandchildren sat, putting on their boots, taking off their shoes. I look in the kitchen were so many meals were made by both my wife and myself. I remember all the friends we entertained at our dining room table as we looked out over the mountains.

At one point I couldn’t take going in any further so I went back outside and I walked around the property. I looked at the donkeys that our neighbor puts out in our meadow. I see the woodchuck crawling across the field. And I hear the birds singing and the geese honking. I climb up on the deck and I remember all the parties all the coffee I had in the morning all the afternoon meals with friends. I remember the moose that came up and put his head up on my deck as I petted him. I remember the turkeys that were out on our container one day scaring the life out of me. I remember my son Matt chasing the turkeys across the meadow. I remember Amy on Easter weekend playing baseball with the family and my daughter Cass practicing archery in the back. I even remember the hard times where lightning wrecked our well and we had to pull hundreds of feet of plumbing out in the meadow. I remember playing King of the Hill on the back hill. I remember teaching my children and my grandchildren to sled. I remember the neighbors that would walk by each day greeting us. As I walked around the house and I looked at the apple tree and the hammock that was there.

I also recognize my life is so much simpler. I don’t have a lawn to mow or a field to hay. I don’t have leaves to rake or trees to prune. I don’t even have a garden. I really missed it. I remember going out in the garden sticking my hands in the soil picking peppers picking tomatoes and just enjoying what I had. I remember taking my grandson Jacob out into the meadow as they mowed field and the times that my grandchildren spent on tractors. I remember walking down to the pond with them looking at the frogs and ducks. I remember a lot of things. I remember very few of the difficult times to be quite honest with you. I don’t remember the fights or the sicknesses or any of those things.

I walk back in the house and I go downstairs just to see part of our basement that held the transmitter where the local radio station paid us to rent. I also remember replacing the furnace after the flood. And how thankful I was for good friends like my friend Andy. I walked to the room that had been my son Tyler’s room. I remember watching him recover from his injuries. The next room was my wife’s office. And next to that was the room that my daughter and her children lived in after she made this decision to kick her addictions. The room next to it had alternated between my daughter Cass and my son Matt. It was in that room that my son found the love of the father and his own father and he gave his life to the Lord. It was in that room that my daughter Cass lived after the death of her mother. As I looked at the utilities I thought about all the dreams and plans Tina and I had for this house I cried. I walked up the stairs and thought about all the stuff that I had wanted to do; room for my tools, places to store things, dreams. One of the greatest things about our home was the fact that it had one and a half baths and allow the student lives the family with little friction in that area.

I walked into the office where I spend my days creating websites, developing newspapers, putting my thoughts together. Across the hall was my wife and I and bedroom was in that room Lord spoke to me so many times. The cathedral ceilings allowed me to watch the stars or the sun depending on the time of day as I would meditate on the goodness of the Lord. I thought about all the friends that had stayed with us over the years. Friends in ministry and friends that were downtrodden who just needed a place to crash. The thought of them and even the ones he slept on in our field. I always thought we would be a place of hospitality. I thought that we would get this house to the place where would be debt-free. That people would be happy to visit. That Tina and I would be able to do all the things we felt we were called to do. When our house was ruined became to a screeching halt in our lives. Vacations stopped, holidays changed and we found ourselves moving all around as we tried to salvage the lower level but we never received any insurance from either the contractor nor our commercial or residential insurance. We fought hard for but it just seemed like everything worked against us.

The following November we realized that black mold had crept in horrible home we were forced to move out and wound up moving to an apartment in that apartment served us well but we still made every attempt to salvage the house. We went back up there in the spring and we began to work on the house. We started to knock out the sheet rock and realize the whole house had become a black hole.

We stayed in that apartment for a little over a year and that we needed to move again we moved to a one-bedroom apartment in another part of town. That following spring we made the decision to purchase an RV to put up on the property so we wouldn’t be spending all her money. But our best efforts to get everything done were constrained by the amount of money and stop the flow of water in the basement area which should never had problems before. It was at that point we ran through the final parts of our savings and all the money were able to borrow. We spent the next winter living in a duplex and survived but it was at the end of that time that my wife just looked at me and said “honey I can’t do this anymore.”

Over the last week I began to go through boxes. Sorting stuff, removing stuff that been damaged by water and mold. I found the box that had some of my grandfather’s things including stirrups and a cannon ball from when he was in the calvary. I just remembered my grandfather and all he did me.

It was a memory opening time. I look at the computers that I’ve never had the opportunity to remove pictures and letters from. One of those computers has nearly 10 years of daily writing. I looked at the bookcases that had my dreams, my inventions, the reminders of my childhood, my children’s childhood and my grandchildren’s childhood. I looked at the file cabinets that contain all the information of all the years. I went into our bedroom and I looked at boxes of books, boxes of tapes, boxes of CDs and all those things. I looked up and saw the large pile of LP records from the radio station. I walked out in the living room and I sorted through things. I found pictures of my children, pictures of my ordination with my wife Tina. I looked at the pictures and I was reminded of all those people who are not in my life anymore. Some of passed away in some of moved on.

I recognized even in the interrupted process the process. I looked at the knickknacks, the little rocks my children had given me, gifts, birthday cards, Father’s Day cards, anniversary cards from children and friends. I confess, I just want my life back!

There’s not much more to say about it. I’ve gone through anger, sorrow, sadness, happiness, joyfulness, and the full gamut of emotions and. I am not angry at the people that hurt me, or wounded me or  even took advantage of me. I’m angry because they do not see how it could ever be restored. My wife and I spent all those years planning, initiating and implementing everything we now. I would say it’s not fair, but I’ve never believed that life is fair.

Even now I remember all the nights we sat outside playing music, worshiping God and thanking him for his goodness. And thinking how awesome it was to be able to play my music the way I like it… Wow! And I found books and tapes and CDs, pictures, knickknacks and I know those are only temporal things so to speak, but every one of them is attached to my heart in some manner. To say that’s not godly is an insult to the very world that God created. How many times a day did I sit in a chair, talk to a friend, pray for my children and not know that God was in the room.

Well at some point in the next few weeks, everything will be moved out of her house, and someone else will take over the property and begin afresh. They will come in with their dreams, new thinking, and hope. I pray for whoever ends up with the property that they are blessed as my wife and I were blessed. I pray that if it’s a business they prosper. I pray that if it’s an individual that a hopeful spring will come forth in their lives and the blessing of the Lord will be upon them. I pray for the blessing of the Lord to be upon those that took advantages of us over this season. I’m thankful for those here in New Hampshire who received us into their midst. Friends and family with church and community..

I remember the first year I moved to the community that we lived. I never thought I would stay. I thought it was stop on the way to where we “were going.” It was shortly after my accident. (I had been hit by a taxicab and the Lord had restored me.) We moved to Springfield Vermont. We found a 3 bedroom apartment with a two car garage and a large covered porch. Kitchen, dining room, two living rooms and a fireplace. But 6 years later we were still there! And we decided to purchase our home. To become part of the community. And we did.

So here we come to the final week. I cannot begin to explain how difficult this is. Frankly, it is making me a little ill. Last year we did everything we knew how to do to resolve things with the bank. Their final response was a lawyer calling for the foreclosure of the home.

I know me. I will never want to go back. Never want to talk about. The rumors are flying, the accusations being made.

God you are bigger. I know you are.