Category Archives: Musing

Blogposts, Lee Johndrow, Musing

Waiting For The Right Time

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It is more than just a place to go. It may be how you get there.
It is more than just a place to go. It may be how you get there.

Too often we find ourselves waiting for the right time. When this happens I will do this. When that happens I will do that. The difficulty is we find ourselves waiting for a day or a circumstance or a sign.

As a believer my life is seated in heavenly places outside the realms or constraints of time. And if my life is in heavenly places, with no time, then the question can be posed, what am I waiting for?

Over the years inside and outside the church people are holding on to various things. Some real, some superstitious, some perceived. For instance, in the world we look for signs of good fortune or good luck. We might visit our favorite Chinese restaurant and indulge in a meal, followed by what the world has deigned fortune cookies and I think of as prophecy cookies. Either way we tear open a plastic wrapped morsel, breaking the cookie to read a small white piece of paper. It matters little what is said, but if you have been waiting or hoping, you may well find an answer. (God is not constrained by our narrow minded thinking…he used a donkey!)

What is at the heart of it, is you are looking for direction. Your comfort zone may be undergoing rehabilitation. I get it! You may feel you need more than direction, that you need encouragement.

I thought about this last night. I was waiting for my wife to arrive with my grandchildren. While preparing dinner, I would walk over to the window and look down to the parking area. When they got here, I wanted them to see me looking at them, ringing them in. Why? Because I want them to know I have expectancy!

I thought just like the father of the prodigal son who waited each day. Probably in the same place, walking back and forth perhaps, providing himself with the best view of where his son might come from. I am sure that there were many days where a tear ran down his face. Days where he questioned his parenting ability. Days where he might have cried out. Days where other family members and servants noticed his disappointment.

When we are waiting for an answer, we go through waves of emotions and turmoil. A few weeks ago, I simply said to God, “I am not taking another step. I have done what I believe to be right. I have done all that I know how to do.” Weeks later, nothing has changed, but I can say I am OK.

I am not looking for a sign or a circumstance. I am looking for Him. When I say that, I mean this. I am open to whatever manner, shape or form God would like to use to provide me with an answer. When I get on something, I cannot move away from it. I become one with the “answer” who in this case is the ANSWER. It is Him. I am not looking for a sign nor am I tossing a fleece. What appeals to my emotions may not be right for me long term. (I am not throwing away emotions!)

I do, however look to whatever way, shape or form God may desire to speak to me. I am open to His answer. I may see things during the course of the day that emphasize or enhance what I believe God is already saying to me. God is speaking a lot. He uses creation, He uses friends and He uses a lot, but the really neat part of it all, is “I know His voice!” When He speaks in whatever manner, I am convinced of what He may be saying. I am not throwing out a rope and hoping He catches it and pulls me up but I simply believe He has endowed me with His goodness, with His nature. And the more I focus on how good He is to me, the less I rely on alternative methods to reduce my discomfort or release my worries. When he tells me to “be anxious for nothing” I can take that to the “bank.”

So, is there a right time? I think there may be. It is probably when you recognize how good He is, how amazing His preparation is and how wonderful His habitation is. (You!) When this is determined you then realize that you are comfortable in Him and everything starts to click into place. It is not a situation or a circumstance that has set you free from the bondage, making you free, but it is Him. Devotion or focusing on Him makes the rest all fit together.

To answer the other question of what am I waiting for, my answer is simply nothing. Oh, I understand the chiros moments in one’s life and the seasons, but when we recognize our wrapped up position with Him, we see that it is all ours, all now. There is on the horizon a seasonless existence. One freed of the constraints of time. When we see that we have become ONE with Him, we recognize the needlessness of seeking a situation or an answer. (I am not saying stop what you are doing and give up. Do what He has called you to do.)

I feel I must add this. I see too many who are wrapped up in their gift, focused on their destiny, when in fact there is a rest He provided from that as well. When you learn to rest in Him, your destiny is not the destination but the place He is going WITH you. When you find yourself anxious about where you are going or what you might do when you get there, you will find yourself missing out on the excitement of being in the moment with Him. While you are headed down the road to grandma’s house, He is wanting to show you the rocks and the pebbles that David that were hidden from the days of Noah. He wants to show you the beauty of the flowers, the freedom of the butterflies, the song of the birds and rustle of the creatures.  H wants to hold your hand and hang out. You will get to grandmas. But you will miss the experience of being with Him.

Do not trade the treasures of today for the thoughts of tomorrow. His blessings and mercies are new EVERY morning.

Blogposts, Family, Family Thoughts, Lee Johndrow, Musing

When Your Children Grow Up

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In the arms of my father(I have the great sweater!)
In the arms of my father(I have the great sweater!)

Over the last few months I have had a number of experiences with my children. (My children are 26 to 32 years of age. Each unique. Each individual. I love each of them.) Marriage, first child, moves. A lot of what we would call the biggies in life. And with each change, I watched the grace of God move in their life. The seed bed of grace they are growing in is growing them up. I have watched as their priorities changed and continue changing. I watch with amazement all they have become. Continue reading When Your Children Grow Up →

Blogposts, Lee Johndrow, Ministry, Musing

The Value Of Friendship

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Just a thought?
Just a thought?

Last night my daughter Amy and I went for a motorcycle ride. During that time we discussed marriage, Christianity, children, education and friendships. People are hardwired for friends. Friends can add value or devalue you. In fact the scriptures often talk about friends. Choosing friends? Sometimes keeping the scriptures at hand are important.

While working on my book over the last few months I found this:

1. My sons and daughters, choose your friends wisely in the days of your youth, for they shall determine the way you go. 2. A good friend rejoices with you in the praise of God but a bad friend fills your heart with violent thoughts. 3. A bad friend entices you to do evil but a good friend prevents you from sinning against the Lord. 4. A good friend praises you when you speak words of wisdom but a bad friend laughs when you cuss and blaspheme. 5. Good friends will rejoice with you in the days of joy that lie ahead but all the wicked together will despair in the futility of their lives. 6. The Lord knows all your thoughts, He hears every word that comes out of your mouth, and He observes all your deeds. 7. Seek, then, friends who meditate on God’s word, friends who delight in edification, and friends who are zealous in good works. For you are not unaware of the reward awaiting the righteous and you not ignorant of the punishment prepared for the wicked” (Quotes & Things David Collins-a paraphrase of Proverbs 24)

Yesterday we celebrated my birthday, but really what we celebrated was friends and friendship. People who joined us plugged in, whether to help put food on the table, hang out with someone in need, clean up or just be there. (I think sometimes just being there is a large part of the equation of friendship.)

Over the years I noticed a trend. The trend is the moving away from the value of friendship. Whether it was caused by a faster pace of living, swings in the economy, the internet or the idea of social media I am not sure. What I do realize in the interest of “time management” coupled with the infractions of any one of the afore mentioned causes, we have lost the value of community and face to face living.

In the church I have heard the word destiny used to describe what God can do for “me” and in some associations how destiny can help the body.  But if in the process, we lose try to bypass our hardwired sense of community and friendship we lose value.

This morning I think about this single scripture. John 15:5 said this “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” No branch can live without the life of God in him. “Apart from me you can do nothing.” He is truly saying “you need me” but He is also by inference saying this is my “body.” He could have used many a picture, but He chose a vine. Branches connected to Him. Therefore being connected to one another.

I believe we are mounting up for a revival of relationship, rightly discerning the body of Christ, stretching hands out to those about us. How much greater our influence over time than to have the ability to sow in those we come in contact with? If we do not penetrate darkness in our homes and our community by the expression of Christ through our beings, what value is there to exporting it?

I value the friendships I have. They have made me who I am. I am thankful.

Blogposts, Lee Johndrow, Musing

The Laws In Our Head

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Just a thought?
Just a thought?

I find that it is not the law of the Bible that causes me consternation or difficulties. The sting of death [is] sin; and the strength of sin [is] the law.1 Corinthians 15:56 It is the ones I keep in my head!

I am not likely to run out and cheat on my wife or kill someone. But I am likely to remember something I might deem superstitious (black cats, broken mirrors, etc.) or a rule for me. “Step on a crack and you’ll break your mother’s back.” Urban legends, old wives’ tales, myths and legends are often the mixture of partial truth. (Was that not how the serpent deceived Eve? Just enough truth to make it credible?) Or in my case I get caught up in “focus” thought process. I “have” to finish this. I have to do the dishes before I relax. Please understand I am not saying there is not value in delayed gratification or completion of tasks or chores. What I am SAYING is this. Anything that controls, creating anxiety or unrest has become a law in your mind and your thinking. It would biblically be considered a stronghold. How many of us never investigated some of the stories well meaning parents* and teachers may have bestowed upon us?

I do not denounce truisms like “early to bed, early to rise, makes a young man healthy, wealthy and wise.” There is value as long as it does not become compulsive or anxiety ridden. I know people who are compulsive givers. Lovers of life with intent in their hearts. But if it causes you issues in other areas of your life (Like home!) or causes you to look down on one who has not given, what truly is the life value of it? And has the “law” you may have set up created sin in your life?

Sin comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. It goes away when we are at rest and allowing Him (Christ) to change us. It returns when we determine to fix something ourselves or live under the pressure of the “law” in our head.

Compulsivity in any manner works against the idea that He(Jesus) can do it. Try not to think about Polar Bears? Did that work? Not usually, because that which we try to avoid we walk right in to. So we end up thinking about Polar Bears. Try not to be anxious about money and you usually find yourself developing methods and thought process to avoid it.

God wants us to not only be free of the Law, but of the laws in our mind as well. 8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

What are the rules you have made take precedence in your life? Have they made you feel worse about yourself? Do they supersede the peace of God? If you find yourself compulsive, thought driven or addicted to thought processes, consider turning your eyes to Him, the author and finisher of your faith.

*There’s a story about a guy who called his grandmother the first time he cooked a roast. “I did it just like you used to. First, I first lopped of the ends of the roast, then seasoned it, added onions and carrots, and put it in the oven for two hours. It was perfect.”

“You cut off the ends?” she asked.

“Didn’t you?” he countered.

“Only when the roast was too big to fit the pan,” she said.

 

Blogposts, Ministry, Musing

2 Dreams About Crime

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Just a thought?
Just a thought?

2 Dreams About Crime

Do you ever wonder where you dreams come from or the whys. I do. All the time.

I was out late last night for the fireworks, baseball game. My daughter and grandchildren were going to spend the night. By the time I crawled into bed it was approaching the 1AM side of life. I went to sleep. 5AM hit hard. I wandered out, started the coffee and turned the AC on. I went back to bed and fell asleep.

The first dream-I was somehow working undercover in a community much like where I lived. I recognized the building style and even some of the people. In the dream some well known people were using their influence to control people. Their method was through a medication familiar to many former drug or opiate users.  Suboxone® or buprenorphine. The purpose of this medication is to provide enough of an effect so as to avoid withdrawal and yet provide a ceiling of sorts-no super high.

Agonist-An agonist is a chemical that binds to some receptor of a cell and triggers a response by that cell. Agonists often mimic the action of a naturally occurring substance. Whereas an agonist causes an action, an antagonist blocks the action of the agonist and an inverse agonist causes an action opposite to that of the agonist. (Emphasis mine)

In the dream I found myself working to uncover what they were doing. I found that the people were just as addicted to the “replacement” as they were with their first choices of heroin and such. What I also found was that they felt bad, guilty and without value or hope.

At one point I found the table set up before one of the buildings. On the table was a Bible with a cutout carrying these medications. As I thumbed through and found the hidden hollow, the men pulled guns. I took off running as fast as I could. They were older and I was faster but I did not think I could keep it up. I ran up in the woods and they continued to follow. The dream ended there as I thought “climb a tree” or “hide in a cave.”

Dream 2

It happened seemingly on top of the first. In the dream I had been identified as one who advocated “freedom without restraint” and many were opposed. They had control of people’s money, housing, food and even relational choices. I found myself forced “underground” sharing the scriptures of His freedom, His calling, His hope. Many were “brainwashed” as to what scripture said, often taking it out of context and reducing it to rules. As I explained that the scriptures were not a set of rules to govern by, but in fact the representation of a person in Jesus Christ, I was found guilty and chased.

I began to speak loudly against the controls, the laws that held in bondage. Throughout the night and day, I found myself going house to house. Each house once darkened, turned to light in my wake.

I awoke.

It is clear to me that the “law” will not work or set people free. Whether that law is from the Old Testament  or a rule made up in the minds of men to have people act proper.

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

1Corinthians 15:56 The sting of death [is] sin; and the strength of sin [is] the law.

In both cases, men used the law to constrain, to withhold the goodness of God. We are on the cusp of an outpouring of His grace in this country. It is not rules but relationship. It was once said that “rules without relationship breed rebellion.” Much of what we see in this country from our schools to our government and even to much of the church is a system of flaw, empowering sin by the setting of rules with no understanding or grid (Acceptance of Christ is part of that grid.) for change, for it has little value. We have exchanged education for enlightenment. We have traded relationship for rules. Cared more for godly experience than Godly expression.  And in many cases wrapped it in scripture to make it “right.”

We are in the midst of a change. Many will be surprised. We are encouraging people to imbibe more of the same. I have said for years we have “inoculated people with just enough Jesus to make them miss the real thing.” Perhaps that is wrong on one level meaning that if they get Jesus, it is His job to overhaul. At the same time has our presentation of Christ and who He is made them have no hope?

Even as I type this I see a groundswell of His goodness. Is it too easy? Yes! Perhaps that alone is what pulls it out of the realm of “us” and puts it into the realm of “Him.” 1 Corinthians 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.

Do not steal from others what is His to give. Do not offer a Jesus not in keeping with New Testament realities.

 

 

Blogposts, Family, Family Thoughts, Lee Johndrow, Musing

The Fourth Of July – A Little History

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The Declaration Of Independence
The Declaration Of Independence

I love the 4th of July. My birthday is July 3rd (A day later and my name surely would have been Samuel!) and ever since I can remember I have had just about the most awesome parties in the world. As a child, we spent our summers on lakes in the Adirondacks. And my parents made sure that we got to see the fireworks displays. (There is nothing cooler than being on a boat with fireworks in the air!) And so over the years I have made sure children and grandchildren have had the fireworks experience. But along with all the cool fireworks, food and parades there is a serious side. Continue reading The Fourth Of July – A Little History →

Family, Family Thoughts, Lee Johndrow, Musing, Old Friends, Uncategorized

My Birthday A Little History

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My Birthday

As I mark 58 years today, I think back to a time where I was pretty convinced I would not see another. This year my birthday will be celebrated on the 3rd with friends and family at a baseball game and fireworks. Like most years I catch fireworks. And then this weekend is the big party.

I was born in what was called Grace-New Haven in New Haven Connecticut. My parents lived on Orange Street in New Haven on a 3rd floor apartment. A few years later they moved to Raymond Court. And just a few years later they moved to Old Turnpike Road in Northford Connecticut. My dad was a timekeeper at Sargent’s in New Haven and my mom with her Masters in hand began teaching in Foxon.

Many of my summers were spent on lakes in the Adirondacks. Schroon Lake, Indian Lake, Lake George. One summer I celebrated with friends like Donald Jones, Gary Gilbert and my family by going to Powers Pond(Blueberry Hill) in Wallingford and paddleboating! Other times Frontier Town, Santa’s Land and Ausable Chasm.

So here I am readying to celebrate with friends and family this weekend. My youngest grandchild will join us. I am looking forward to it. As I looked at pictures of previous birthdays and friends, I am so grateful for all of those I have connected with.

Thanks for all the memories.

Blogposts, Lee Johndrow, Musing

My Ceiling Is Your Floor

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Passing the baton
Passing the baton

My Ceiling Is Your Floor

For many a year, one of the lines used in ministry was about the generation to come. Any many bought into it. I want to say I believe it.

But here are a couple of thoughts for both sides.

A-If I am to be your floor,

  • I need to be prepared for people to walk on me.
  • I may no longer be visible when you are standing.
  • I may need to be more secure in who I am in Christ and less in others.
  • I need to bear the weightiness.
  • I honor you.
  • Be more I am. Be greater, bigger, higher.

B-If I am to stand on your ceiling

  • I need to stand on that which is in place.(foundation)
  • To dishonor my ceiling can bring shifting, shaking or even destruction.
  • Despite your unwavering life as my “floor”, my life must be in Him.
  • To leave may mean I must start from scratch.
  • I honor your work that you have accomplished.
  • I am thankful for you going before me.

There is one true foundation. His name is Jesus (1 Corinthians 3:11) For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

My security does not come from man. It comes from the Lord. I take responsibility for my life. I take seriously the responsibility of my life for the sake of those that might learn from me. It means my ceiling is your floor.  I don’t want my people, whether they be my children or my spiritual children to repeat my footsteps, but to take what I’m capable of and go far beyond. I am not leaving legacy, but I am in fact creating legacy. In many respects it is like a relay race. The first is just as important as the last.

For my ceiling to be a floor for those to come, they must embrace or stand on that which I have done. Wandering off may well mean that you have to start as I did. It is so much easier to build the second floor of a building than it is the first! Choose wisely those who labor amongst you! If I was younger I would want the best mentor, the strongest and most responsible to learn from.

As a leader, often I may find that I can be creative and innovative, but if I never hand it off, what value is it. I must give it away (If for no other reason than I might get more!) I want my life to be a starting point for those I love. Those I care for and care about. I want the momentum of the goodness of God in my life to be their starting point. To empower people to start from here and develop their own creative ideas and thought processes. I do not want them to run the race I did. (Yes, we had cooler cars, awesome music & lyrics and better hair, but hey!)

Sure you can recreate the wheel…but why?

To you out there I want you to run with my best and then go further, farther and better.

 

Blogposts, Musing

Coding, Operating Systems And Us

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Binary Coding
Binary Coding

Coding

This morning I had a dream. In the dream I found myself viewing HTML (HyperText Markup Language) coding or the ability of a person to build a web page. For someone such as myself who has been involved in the internet and the building of pages (Well, since Al Gore invented it…) this dream was interesting.

In coding there are a lot of things you do not see. These codes or strings of code, determine everything from font color, style or size, to where a picture or column is located. For instance, <font color=”red”>will give you this 6.

In the dream I saw the hand of the Lord touching people behind the scenes, putting code in lives. There was also code that was predetermined through birth or DNA (a code of its own that determines genetics like hair coloring, size, etc…) and then there is additional code which has a lot to do with what you put in your life.

In many respects, our lives are often like what we may now call a web page. A web page for the most part operates on three levels. The operating system (what you do not see.), the output or page(what you do see) and the “personalized” page that reflects answers you may have given in the past or choices you have made.

Life is a lot like that and I saw it in the dream.

The Operating System or OS
There is a code that runs the whole site. That may be more like what the Lord puts in to “run the whole system. And then there is the individual code of the page that has a lot of similarities to DNA coding. And then there is an additional process that revolves around forms where you may be asked for email addresses, etc.. The information you put in here determines what you may receive in coming days, etc..

One of the things I have noticed is our “operating system” or what goes on behind the scenes, never changes. God died as you and an operating system of God is always at work in your life. Whether you accept it or see it is irrelevant. You can choose never to see the wonder of what He does. You can be content only with what is in your life and what you do.

The Web Page
Then you walk in the DNA or the output of your parents and the generations before you. You may resemble Aunt Tilly or Poppa Don. You may act like your father or smile like your mama. There is little you can change outside of reconstructive surgeries, additions or subtractions. It is interesting that many are concerned with this to the extent that perhaps billions are spent in this area to change the visual or the “page” itself. So many work to get away from the “code.” It is here that appearance is changed, corrupted or distorted.

Personalization
The data entry of personal information builds a database that becomes uniquely you to even further extent. It can be the result of upbringing, education or culture.

When I gave my life over to the Lord I was given what can only be called a new “operating system.” It was more than an upgrade. Everything became different. (Scripture tells us that once we were “darkness.”) Up until that point my operating system was “corrupt” and my output corrupt. With this new operating system, many things changed. Not all, but many. Instantly it was like the Lord removed my database of profanity. On the hand I would try to reverse or operate this new system from the direction of the old with results that were less than productive.

I still had the DNA of parents and the personalization of experience, but now I had to run it on a different system. I found that some of my favorite “programs” I had used no longer produced or in some cases no longer existed.

In the dream the hand of the Lord was giving not just “upgrades” but new systems of operation. I felt the Lord saying “this is a day of great harvest. The corruptions of this world are not what you are to be concerned with. Be concerned with the newness of the operating system.” Too often we bring people out of their culture and encourage them to do what they have always done…but differently! We need to put emphasis on Him and not the output or the result. Christ and Christianity is not self help. The best “coding” in the world will not and cannot run without a proper operating system.

I am not being disrespectful or irreverent of Christ. He is the “system” that made way for my corrupt ways to change. It was not for lack of trying I had been unable to accomplish these things before Him. Let us stop trying to change the person. That job belongs to Christ and Christ alone. Let us not see conformity to a system of “proper” output but let us seek the transformational change that comes with Christ.

Encourage the operating system change and you will see the results. Stop focusing on the output of people and concentrate on He who can change.

Blogposts, Musing

Chaim-Life The Search For Chaim

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Just a thought?
Just a thought?

Yesterday I received a vision

from the Lord about the upcoming season. Some have already taken me to task about the aspect of “love” in it. That’s okay. You do not have my life and I do not have yours.

This morning I was awakened from a dream with these words ringing in my head. “Will you come down here?” Huh? I started to process the dream while drinking my coffee and laughing about a friend’s inability to acquire a Starbucks at BOS at 5AM.

I began to think about being in Him and what is protected by “being in Him. No discourse here other than to say a lot more is hidden in the life of Jesus than you can imagine.

In the dream I was trying to locate a man. His name was Chaim. He had appeared so young in my first meeting, but as I inquired as to His whereabouts, people talked about how old he was. Chaim was known by many and seen by few. The talk of Him was histories, anecdotes and stories but no one seemed to know him personally. I was on a mission. He had touched my life. I remembered it vividly.

Finally I caught up to him. We met at a sidewalk café in France. He was seated. His life beamed life. We sat there saying nothing. The glory was much upon his face.

I awoke from that dream, be asked “will you come down here?”

I will be honest in saying, I am not sure who is being asked to come “down here.” Years ago I was seated in a meeting where men prophesied over me for nearly20 minutes. One of the lines was “come down out of the clouds and get the smell of sheep upon your garb.” I am more inclined to believe it was a call for help, much the call Paul received to Macedonia in the book of Acts. I have to leave this one on the table for a day or so.

But Chaim? Chaim means life in Hebrew. Many people added even the name to their name to add health to their life. There IS power in the name.

I sensed I met Him who is the essence of all life in the dream. Why a café? Why not?