This weekend I was reading a story about someone wanting to cut a young man’s hair. “Pretty please” they begged.
As someone who has sported waist length hair in my years, Jimi Hendrix afro’s, pony tails and more, I wonder how this young man felt. I had a man one time tell me “God likes His sheep shorn short.” I know the church did not care for my long hair or my dress. Nor did they like my cars or motorcycles in many cases. Another man told me he would not be at my church because I rode a motorcycle.
A Snippet Of Truth
So, what is with Jesus on the inside? How do we see external fixings under the heading of God? (I want my kids to look good but it does not change how I see them or love them.) Folks, good, bad or ugly, God loves them and you and has the capability to change them. They may never look like you want them to be, but isn’t it good God looks to the inside.
Our church family grows whether we wear paisley, plaid or print. We are not focused on the outside. It grows because of what is on the inside.
If you want a child to look better, please stop playing the God card. The number one complaint I hear about church people is “there are too many rules.” Stop adding rules, conditions and regulations. It only makes you a Pharisee.
When I was a child my parents hired a babysitter. Her name was Mrs. H…And she and I did not see eye to eye about many things. She was a short, very overweight person. She thought my brothers and I were “hell on wheels” and would speak with her Polish accent in short bursts of rules.
Because of the way she treated me she was often the brunt of my growing sense of humor and general boyhood thinking.
One day I caught a frog. (Her husband taught me!) A rather large frog. You cannot catch a frog and not plan on doing something with it. I decided to put the frog in the toilet in case my dad would let us cook it. What I did not count on was Mrs. H using the bathroom while I contemplated what to do. I was in the closet getting something to put it in, when she walked into the bathroom (A very large country bathroom with a closet on one end and the toilet on the other.) In the process of her opening the door, she closed the closet door. At first I thought it was one of my brothers. But then I heard her humming to herself. I looked out the key hole to make sure. And sure enough, it was her and she was going to use the toilet. Now nothing could be seen from the keyhole, because of the positioning of the toilet, behind the bath tub. And she was very near sighted, so she did not see the frog. A few moments later thought the frog jumped and so did she. She was screaming in Polish and English and whatever other words meant “Help!” I was laughing so hard as I saw her head around the corner, I nearly needed a toilet.
She ran down the stairs looking for me. I decided to head out the window at the end of the bathroom and wait on the roof for my mom to come home. I have to tell you, by now I was in hysterics. It was so funny in my head that I just wanted to see her. So, I climbed down the old lilac tree (The one my brother fell out of when we were playing hide and seek in the dark on the roof.) and looked in the kitchen window. There she was with my brothers lined up, yelling at them to find me. I was rolling. The upshot was, my parents came home and it was all they could not to laugh as she told them of the horrible thing I had done. I didn’t get in trouble…that’s what counted that day.
Over the years I have thought of the things I have done and didn’t get caught. Despite the “not getting caught” part, I have still felt badly. No, I couldn’t change things, but I often wonder of the things that might have been, had I not done the wrong thing in the first place.
This morning I awoke feeling kind of blank. Perhaps it is the couple of late nights, early mornings or maybe the ramifications of a rollercoaster week. Whatever the reasoning, I just sat here, listening. “God, paint a picture for me” I asked.
The picture began to appear. The first few strokes were large brush strokes of brilliant yellows and oranges. The picture developed a glow. And then the stabbing, jerky strokes of dark colored browns, reds and greens appeared. The glow never stopped but it seemed to be only on the edges. The middle of the painting being filled with the darkness of color. I knew what colors, what brilliance was underneath the darkening layer, but I could not see the fullness of the beauty.
Lately I have pondered how in the midst of so much goodness, I have felt or witnessed the pain that has come alongside. I said the other night it is as if a rubber band was being stretched. I suspect some of it has to do with the time of summer we are in. But I know it is more than that. I know that the economy, relationships, sickness and more have affected people. The answer for many has been to get busier, to invest more time. It has been a placebo for many. As someone who often helps people channel their energies, utilize their resources and manage their time, I see this pitfall occurring in these three lies that are frequently believed.
There is only so much available time in a day.
Our resources are limited by their reality and our belief in the favor on our life.
Our energy is housed in our being
With those three constraints, let me say first and foremost, I believe God can do anything AND I believe He wants to. BUT I also believe He has delegated the procedure and the process of the “distribution” to His people. Therefore we are the “quartermasters” of His goodness. The purveyors of heaven. Continue reading The Painting Of God -His Response To Paint Me A Picture→
I had a conversation with a young person recently. Totally equipped, gifted and awesome at a particular talent, the opportunity came to compete in it. The response of this young person captures my heart. “That is not what I want to be” was the response and turned away. Wow! Turning down the opportunity of a “lifetime.” Why was it turned down? Because the thought of the future was bigger.
Too frequently we look at our natural gifting or talent and we pursue the path because we are good at it. Let me just say I am thankful Moses turned away from shepherding. That Gideon accepted the voice of God. That even Jesus stepped out of heaven into earth.
I had a friend who I had known from kindergarten. He and I played ball together. He was not brilliant, but not dumb. He thought by year two of high school, football was his pathway. He was great even amazing. Teachers began to let him slide. Opportunities began to open. He changed his mind about his career. High school ended and so did his sojourn of being on top. (Life was different then. There was no Youtube or Facebook to promote our latest song or undertaking.) No one took up his cross or carried him. He entered the workforce. I recently heard that he ended 40 years of doing the same thing over and over, and never progressed or succeeded at anything else.
Life is and always will be about choices. Choices will always be predicated on priorities you have previously established and the filters you employ to let what you want in and keep what you do not, out. Let me expound on this for a moment.
A priority. Merriam’s defines this as the quality or state of being prior; superiority in rank, position, or privilege; a preferential rating; especially : one that allocates rights to goods and services usually in limited supply; something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives. What this means, is that my future is my priority. I do things daily that lead me toward opportunity, future betterment, destiny and legacy.
A filter. It is defined as something that has the effect of a filter (as by holding back elements or modifying the appearance of something). Just as my email reader filters email to boxes; personal, business, spam, so does a filter in life separate necessary from frivolous.
When you look at where you want to be, what you want to build, you begin to develop filters. From these filters you establish priorities. My young friend, as great as the opportunity before them, had already “installed” filters based on what God was saying to them. The result was priority.
Priority is not and will not always be fun. If your goal is to be rich or successful in a field, you may be forced to make sacrifices that others may not. Dave Ramsey, a famous author and radio host said this, “If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.” His point being your friends and family may get to go away a lot now, but if you build a plan of financial freedom, you will be able to do all that and more down the road.
Because we have developed an instant, microwave society, we often put aside the things that will be important in the future. Sacrificial living is not popular these days. (Did you read that Parker Brothers changed Monopoly to make it faster? Honestly, it goes fast if you play by the rules. For instance, you do not have the option of not buying the property you land on and leaving it in the deck. You must buy it or it goes to auction. Highest bid wins.)
The keys? Develop priorities. Design filters. What do you want to be? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do?
1. Choose your values. Your values are what you hold near and dear to you. They can be principles, standards or beliefs that you find most worthwhile. You probably already have a core set of beliefs that guide you. Think about what is most important to you.
Tip:
Values are usually fairly stable, yet they don’t have strict limits or boundaries. Also, as you move through life, your values may change. For example, when you start your career, success – measured by money and status – might be a top priority. But after you have a family, work-life balance may be what you value more.
As your definition of success changes, so do your values. This is why keeping in touch with your values is a lifelong exercise. You should continuously revisit this, especially if you start to feel unbalanced… and you can’t quite figure out why.
As you go through this stage, bear in mind that values that were important in the past may not be relevant now.
2. Analyze your values, interests, and skills. Are there things that have influenced your thinking and behavior? Think about what you enjoy and what you’re good at. What about the skills you’ve learned from full- or part-time jobs, volunteer experiences, or school and social activities. There could be a connection between your activities and skills and your values. Will any of these skills help you get where you want to go?
3. Set realistic goals. To make your dream future your reality, set some reasonable, short-term and long-term goals for yourself based on your top values. You’re more likely to get where you want to go if you set a goal and commit yourself to it. To increase your chances of success even further:
Choose some logical steps toward your goal.
Take each step and fill out the details. Include the what, when, where and how for each step.
Now it’s time for action. Do your plan.
Keep your plan close by, so you can see how each action step is working and make improvements to the plan as you go.
4. Do some research. Think about your dream job, and then learn more about it. Find out how other people in that field developed the career you want. Do a job shadow. Go to work with someone to find answers to questions like these:
What kind of training, education and skills are required?
What are the real-life work conditions, the work environment and the work schedule?
What are the likely rewards (for example, salary, fringe benefits, room to grow, retirement plans)?
Are these rewards important to you?
Would other rewards be more important to you?
Based on the work you’ve just done, define your life mission and start living it with every decision you make. Soon you’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come.
My young friend is doing this. Establishing what is wanted makes it easier to put aside that which is not.
Establish your priorities
Once you know your mission, be brutally honest with yourself: Are the activities that take up most of your time really moving you towards your goals? If not, it is time to set some priorities that support your goals, and make sure they get plenty of your time and attention.
Time is a precious commodity; basically, you use it or lose it. The good news is that we all have the same amount of time every day, so use it to your advantage. Since there will always be plenty of diversions to distract you from your goals, practice staying in the driver’s seat when it comes to time management. Remember putting off for tomorrow the things you can do today is procrastination. Procrastination is wasted energy.
Here are some time management tools that can bring a sigh of relief to your busy life.
Use task lists and a calendar to manage school, family, and social responsibilities. You have enough important facts and figures to remember right now without committing your ongoing calendar to memory. Use a time management tool to coordinate all of your daily, weekly, monthly tasks, obligations, social events, tests –and anything that is important for you to do.
Understand the difference between important and urgent. Important tasks must be done; urgent tasks must be done NOW. Some things can be taken care of tomorrow, later this week, or next week. Really!
Work with your natural rhythm, not against it. Everyone has specific periods of peak productivity, so capitalize on your best time of day. If you’re a morning person, plan to tackle the most difficult tasks before lunch. Likewise, if you’re a night owl, don’t force yourself to study or work on complicated projects until late afternoon or evening.
Accept that you just can’t do everything. Don’t be a popularity addict. It may feel good in the moment to be “in demand,” but wouldn’t it feel even better to achieve the life you really want? Limit your commitments by choosing activities that you truly enjoy and are consistent with your goals. Practice saying no without feeling guilty; the mastery of the tactful decline is a skill that will come in handy throughout your life!
Take care of yourself by paying attention to your physical, emotional and financial health. The same rules still apply: eat well, get plenty of sleep, exercise regularly, and build time into your schedule for relaxation. Take proper care of your body and it will take care of you. Remember that stress, although it can’t be seen, can cause a lot of damage – don’t overtax your emotions with too many commitments. Also, pay attention to your financial health as well. Be realistic about your money, create a realistic budget and stick to it. Using a spending plan to control your finances can actually feel great– it’s empowering. Develop that muscle of determined discipline, and watch how it drives you towards your goals.
It does not matter how old you are or where you are at. Building priorities and filters will help you become at what you want to be and what you want to do. It is never too late to start to build.
In my own life, I leave myself space for the “whatever” time. These are additional times with my wife, children or friends or just times to kick back. If you are unfamiliar with how to do this, find a friend who is at good at it and probe their mind and help. And if you “fail” get back on the train!
Legacy is the process of developing something that is life giving and eternal for the generations to come. It is more than inheritance. Your priority design will incorporate that which is to come.
Real marriage doesn’t usually happen in the bright of day.
Someone asked how Tina and I were doing in the midst of our traumatic house loss. Our answer is, “we are doing good.” Sure we are emotional about the loss and all it entails, but at 3PM today, it was behind us. And we are doing well. Our marriage is strong. Continue reading Marriage In The Trenches→
Last night I was in the dream “washing” machine. Dream after dream. Thought after thought. These are three that I thought were relevant.
1-The first dream I found myself avoiding those who had evil thoughts for my life. In my possession, I had the secrets of a world to come on a 9” floppy disk. (Upon waking my first thought, was my grandson’s digital watch holds more information!) “Detrimental truths” of the goodness of the Lord were upon it. The realities of Christ described. Continue reading Three Dreams July 26th 2013→
Yesterday my wife came home at 6:50. In the car was the last stuff we were pulling from the house.
Today at 3PM, our home goes to auction. If you are interested in the long version, I posted that yesterday. Or you can visit the Facebook page to visit pics, etc..
Bottom line we did all that we knew how to do. Right up to the final “bell.”
If I learned one thing in the last five years there are a lot of good people in the world. Many who are content and willing to call me their friend.
There are a lot who took the opportunity as well to lie, steal and cheat while Tina and I went through this season of our life. Bless you!
This week my son came alongside to help out. Thanks Tyler! A friend Matt joined as well as various family. Over the years my friend Mike showed up , along with Joel and Robin to help out. My friend Dave from Barre and his crew. The folks from Village who joined in. And so many more.
There is a freedom that comes at 3. My best efforts will never have been in “vain.” Someone had a dream about me and the freedom that comes with this. I simply believe. (A balloon was tethered, but this week it was set free to travel.)
It is funny, last night I was thinking about the last winter I was working on the house. I was up there by myself, working on the second floor. The next thing I knew or remember I was laying on the cement below with blood on me, the ground and the snow. No recollection of anything. Called my wife to pick me up. She wanted to take me to the hospital. I said, “no Thanksgiving is tomorrow.” She was not impressed. I had a lovely weekend despite the headaches and headed to the ER on Monday. The sacrifice? Nothing compared to others.
So, the clock stops ticking today for us in Springfield. New life, new season.
Mickey Mouse popped out of my mind onto a drawing pad 20 years ago on a train ride from Manhattan to Hollywood at a time when business fortunes of my brother Roy and myself were at lowest ebb and disaster seemed right around the corner. Walt Disney
The Lord has really put the thought process of legacy in my heart over the years. When I spoke on Sunday, I talked about it some. When I looked at the destruction of my home, I was again brought back to the thought of legacy. And earlier this week I wrote about legacy.
Last night after prayer at Village I went in and watched the worship team in their practice. The best part for me was to watch two young girls join the worship team in preparation for this weekend. One may be 10 years old and the other is younger. One of the worship leaders sat in a chair behind them to instruct them and give them encouragement.
To me that is the epitome of what I am talking about. A real mentor will be behind the scene. A true parent will be coaching, instructing their child in preparation for their own adult life.
So, I was encouraged to come home and find this post by a friend, Lynn Hiles.
Parents if you want to be your child’s friend now you will have to be there parent later. If you will be there parent now you can be there friend later. The Kingdom does not come from the White House it comes from your house. I am still a firm believer in the power of family and local church. The kingdom is the organic result.
There is a shirt that says “Parenting is not for cowards.” How true. If you are going to be a good parent you will have to get involved in your children; good, bad and ugly. The same is true for legacy. 25 year olds…in 10 years, if you are not already, you will most likely, be married, settled somewhere with a career going forward. You will not be doing what you are doing now. My question is will you begin to put yourself out of a job? In church, you may be a worship leader or a Sunday school teacher. Who are you bringing alongside as your replacement? In social life, you may coach or instruct young people. Who is your mentoree? Mentoring is part of having a destiny.
One of the reasons I get frustrated with the “destiny” talk is because to accomplish something you often need to leave something. Too often folks are caught up in the “me” and not the “them.” While a church leader can replace the worship leader or the Sunday school teacher who may leave, seeing the legacy of your good works and your investment, flawlessly moving to another, enhances not only their lives but is enriching yours. It is the stuff destiny is made out of.
I have seen the difficulties of flawed mentoring and coaching models. In the world they are often people placed in lives, but the church has the ability to embrace the family idea. It is always a good time to come alongside.
As I watched my friend Heather, coaching last night during worship, I thought that really is the picture on so many levels. She moved down to their level. Getting eye to eye (One of the greatest photography difficulties I have seen over the years is the person shooting down on a child. Get down to their level. Kneel, crawl or lie down. You will be amazed!) meant she could see them and they could see her. She sat behind them helping them along the way. The long term goal is for you to no longer be visible in so many areas. Seated, giving them their turn, their opportunity.
I love reading about legacy and all that it entails. Over the years a couple of my spiritual dads sowed the works of John Maxwell into my life. If you are interested in truly building a legacy whether in the church, business or personal, you may be interested in starting here
Live life with intent and the idea that everything you choose is and will be important. Not everyone will accept what you have to offer, but I assure you thee is the young man or woman, who identifies with you on some level.
“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” Shannon L. Elder
(The recent loss of my home has forced me to look further into legacy and destiny.)
Everyone wants a destiny. Jeremiah 29:11 ‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. It’s hard to have a destiny until you believe you have a legacy. When we see the legacy thinking pattern of the Father, we begin to drill down to release those coming. God wants to participate in your destiny. Destiny apart from legacy is a self-centered, individualized trip. The world’s best businesses are operational with the belief that you “put yourself out of a job.”
It is more than a delegated handoff where you build without investment, just to build. Inheritance fades away as we spend it but a legacy lives on after we die. It perpetuates. Inheritance activity may or may not pay off but legacy activity becomes accomplishment. You have built something into peoples’ lives that is substantial. We are building for a “forever.”
I am passionate about destiny and legacy. I had written destiny and legacy were tied together. Last night a good friend said to me, I did not go far “enough.” He said that integrity is important in the “equation.”. In thinking about it I agree. A parent who makes promises and never keeps them, just to “kick the can down the road,” will lose value and possibly relationship with the child who comes to believe that they cannot keep a promise. “Promise little, deliver plenty” is a business principle that would go a long way in the day to day understanding of legacy.
Integrity-The Important Component
When talking about legacy, your integrity in the following will be important.
Keep promises
Practice what you “preach”
Build with purpose
Development a relationship founded on love
Do not build for what you may derive out of it.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Biblical Destiny Is Communicated To People by God
Biblical destiny is not a person’s good idea
1. Destiny doesn’t originate from within us. It is not generated by our desires or ideas. For example: I thought in When I was ordained things would be a certain way and “counted” on that. At this juncture I would say, that was not my destiny though I was content to do it forever. When Tina and I married I thought we would never leave the town we were married in. Within two years we moved across the state.
2. None of these ideas were wrong in themselves / none of them were bad desires / it’s just not what destiny is all about.
3. Example: Moses had to learn the same thing: Explain / raised in Egypt until 40 / great idea to deliver Israel – Another good idea gone bad!
• Destiny doesn’t originate from within us.
Is. 55:8 “…My ways are far beyond anything you can imagine…” (NLT)
God is the communicator of destiny
We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. Psalm 78:4
Legacy-The Leaving With Another
God has eternity in mind. Everything we do is not for a moment but for eternity. It should be an inter-generational transfer until Jesus come.
We want to build not just an inheritance but a legacy. It is said you can either give your child a fish or you can teach him how to fish. An inheritance is leaving them a fish. A legacy is leaving behind the knowledge of how to fish.
This means we have to put values into their lives, an infrastructure. They can eat up the inheritance but they cannot expend the legacy if we have imparted unto them.
God desires that we leave a legacy and not just an inheritance.
Proverbs 13:22, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children: but the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.
Proverbs 20:21, “An inheritance may be gotten hastily at the beginning; but the end thereof shall not be blessed.
Grandchildren are the crown of the elderly, and the pride of sons is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6
1. It’s never too early to start thinking about leaving a legacy. 2. You don’t have to be perfect to leave a legacy of faith. 3. Like most worthwhile endeavors, leaving a legacy is like sowing seeds.
Release
There comes a time to say to a son or a daughter “this is your time.” Your position moves from “parent” to prayerful support. Too often we see talented, anointed people held back so that a parent can continue to receive the limelight. God is jealous for His people. He may decide to remove them. Freedom is a powerful word and concept, but one needs to understand it is the essence of empowerment and change. Too often we love freedom in our own life and deny it on a level with others.
How old do you have to be to build legacy? If you are willing to live in the realm of integrity and willing to pursue the destiny God laid out and recognize the value of the body, you can pretty much start at any age. Who can you mentor? Who can you value? Sowing into another’s destiny accomplishes and often accelerates yours. I am not talking about the “mutual” adoration club, where “you are so good.” “Thanks! So are you!” I am talking about developing a lifestyle of serving with integrity, sowing into an upcoming generation and seeing it as God’s heart.
Examine your priorities. God wants to leave a legacy in your life. He wants to put value in your life. He wants to put something that is forever in your life.
Anyone who has recollection of the newly married phase or perhaps had or has a teenager has an understanding of the language barrier. The words and their meaning you believe they have is not always what your spouse or teenage son is talking about. I understand, as I have been there on both counts. I came upon another language barrier rather quickly when I became a believer, a follower of Christ. I saw a language, even words I knew, with entirely new meaning, new thought process.
I do remember thinking, whatever happened to English?
My mom was an educator. For 35 years she taught English and history. I learned to play scrabble and do crosswords at an early age. I read dictionaries and encyclopedias (I know, what the heck are they?) in my quest for word knowledge.. But let me say, that words help, language studies help, but communication is the winning game.
If I do not understand your occasional word, I am able to look it up. But if I do not understand your language or your message, your communication is wasted on me. (I will not bemoan the language of text or some of the most awful hieroglyphic messages I have received.)
The other day one of the points I shared is the need for communication and the relevancy of speech. A manual on how to repair a cassette tape is wonderful history (Usually by using a pencil.) but it has no impact on the generation before us. My best efforts at sharing a message or a thought process can be lost if my listener or audience has no clue about what I am speaking about.
At the end of the day, I suspect it will be less about language and more about heart. I believe it will be more about understanding and communication. Not all communication is verbal, but for most people it is helpful.
So, the question belies itself. Do people know what you are talking about? We frequently hear communication is a two way street. I agree with that, but if you are the initiator of a conversation or the speaker to an audience and they have no clue about what you are talking about, you have lost an important opportunity.
I encourage you to give credence to the question, what language are you speaking? Be willing to accept the fact that not everyone “gets what you are saying.” It is less of a problem in the world while more of a problem at home or with friends. Be willing to make the change if necessary.
Proverbs 12:18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
